on time.

It never ceases to amaze me the way God is right on time when he is running the show. It also never ceases to frustrate me sometimes.

no big new years resolutions - we have enough on our plate in two days as we begin officially the task of church relations for BSSI.

more posts to come in the new year, as we get back onto the on-ramp and enter civilization again after a much needed 5 months of sabbath (meaning "nothing").

we also maybe opening a new blog to chronicle our trip and our life for potential supporters. Anywhoo.

HNY!
-doc-

Justice in a Manger?

I often find peace and hope in the second coming of Jesus. There is a band I regularly enjoy named Stavesacre (side: worth checking out at stavesacre.com). Their sophomore release ending track is titled "Scarecrow" and speaks of the "righteous" judgement of God that is coming down because of the "innocent blood crying from the ground." It doesn't take a 140 I.Q. to figure out things are pretty much a wreck in this world. There seems to be a large contingent of leashes that the "worst of us" have broken free from. Why do we feel this way? Why do we strive for this concept of fairness and justice? "balance" as many eastern persuasions would call it. Why do we find ourselves humbly angry at God from time to time if we truly beleive that he is all wise and this is his perferred way to fix our mess?

The Bible often describes the "Great Day of the Lord" (the Day of Judgement, Second Coming of Jesus Christ, Parousia) with "clouds". The great Judge is riding on clouds. This is important as this imagery is a direct metaphor to judgement, punishment and deliverance for the innocent(blood, also). But how often to we look at the manger in this lens? How often to we see the birth of Jesus as a direct assault on oppressive governments, corrupt social systems, unjust opportunities, rebellion to a Higher standard, and on personal freedom of choice to hurt others (or self)?

I have been forced to consider this idea again this week after a sermon I heard a day ago, and my favorite song (O Holy Night) being played this time of year. Consider this scripture and this stanza ... things that stirr a familar longing for justice in my heart when I hear or sing them... an answer to a lonely hope in my soul...

Luke 1:50-53 (a section of the Magnificat)

And his mercy is for those who fear him

from generation to generation.

He has shown strength with his arm;

he has scattered the proud in the thoughts of their hearts;

he has brought down the mighty from their thrones

and exalted those of humble estate;

he has filled the hungry with good things,

and the rich he has sent away empty.

O Holy Night (traditional third stanza)

Truly He taught us to love one another;

His law is love and His Gospel is peace.

Chains shall He break for the slave is our brother

And in His Name all oppression shall cease.
Sweet hymns of joy in grateful chorus raise we,

Let all within us praise His holy Name!

Just a thought for your holiday week. As some of us watch snow gently fall to the earth; others here contemplating lost wages as rain storms sweep through today and next; the bustle of Wal-mart and the quiet isles of Bloomingdales; the free soup kitchens and the overpriced wings at Applebees. The wells wishes of "Merry Christmas" and the luke warm "how ya doin'?" of "Happy Holidays".

This is no happening of chance, no easily defined ying-yang answer .. there is a real attainment of being "fully human" and a hollow ringing of "all man can obtain" that is on display for those who seek to truly see.

Perhaps that little boy in the manger is a great ringing bell for freedom of the oppressed, sight to the blind, healing for the wounded and the great year of Jubilee (the Lord's favor)". And perhaps we will discover what made King Herod fear the baby in a manger... the spiritual, physical, emotional, political, personal and economic death certificate to all oppression, injustice and rebellion against the Holy One of Israel. A beautiful healthy new boy to Mary. The deliverer, the Savior, the Judge... the promise given to innocent blood as it cries for justice.

As the snow falls, and as I think about the Creator being born to a poor family in a garage out behind the hotel 70 miles from his hometown, I wonder if there isn't anyone that Jesus can relate to... or that his birth did not have in mind... this life had it mind... his death and resurrection had in mind... his sending of the Holy Spirit and birth of his Church had in mind... or his return with great joy and great horror anguish has in mind.

The slave is now our brother.
Praise be His Holy name!

Tis' the season...

As this week marks a full 6 months sense we left the Apple Valley area...
I will begin writing more again as it is "time" to pick up many areas where they left off and continue the journey God has called Kathryn and I to take.

Unsure as of yet what this change will mean for my thoughts and content - but looking forward to documenting an "unassuming" life. Or as I have read from the Apostle Paul to "make it your ambition to lead a quite life".

Des Colores!

EVILA? (yes I am)

We are currently waiting for high speed (DSL)... probably October 15th, we will be back in gear.

For now, we are definitely alive and kickin'


DOC

Innocence.

Many have asked me what the picture on my blog is for - the eye.

It has to do with a project 86 song that is raw, heavy, screaming and true.
The lyrics are below. It basically talks about what we are longing to see again... what we have lost.
Innocence. i have forgiveness, and i am no longer in fear of punishment -it has already been given to Jesus. But there is a former "old josh" (what Paul cause the "old man" - the FLESH)... the realm of sin, the Dominion of slavery and rebellion that i once lived in.. and find myself drifting in those former neighborhoods sometimes.

it is an aching. a desire. a freedom i long for.
i was talking with my boss on the way home from work today about heaven... if there will be fishing there. etc. but really God has been speaking to my heart about my heart lately... how it needs to be totally his... given over to him for honor, and worship... but also for protection. Jesus knows how to handle my heart, he will guard it... (read: the Holy Spirit also here). But i seem to think i can handle my heart... my will... my desire.. somehow i forget that we have these "training wheels" till we die.

and this is the longing and freedom i await for...
it has been said "theologically" in church history that DEATH came into the world in 3 form after the fall.

1. the SOUL died immediately (separation from God)
2. the SPIRIT died progressively (loosing our will, our desires, our wills became set against truth)
3. the BODY died eventually (death was a mercy judgement in view on an eternity of #1 and #2)

And it has been said that we are transformed in Christ

1. the SOUL is saved immediately (Salvation -, saved, alive again)
2. the SPIRIT is saved progressively (Sanctification - becoming holy )
3. the BODY will be saved eventually (Glorification - a Resurrection body)

It is #3 that i long for...
it is the daily grind of sin, of being an enemy of sin, of battling and warring in my soul, my spirit, my body... that i hate...
and so this "eye" on my blog is the reminder that the sacrifice is finished at Calvary, though I am not. The name stamped on my soul is Jesus - though my body is not yet like his.

and i find myself, longing, yearning, pleading to be set free.

SIN. it is ugly. EVIL. it is rebellion. DEATH. it is still the enemy, but conquered.

EVEN SO, COME LORD JESUS!

(if you have a chance to listen to this song on the Internet... or a friend... please do!)

===========================
"PS" - bold italics mine

Her heart bleeds...
It is a basis for your heartfelt hunger so gaze
At the page at the faces of nameless...
You're alone again
And this distortion is an apt replacement for
An unquenchable desire for more
More pages strewn across this sickening floor
I can't look at this
I can't look at you
I can't look at me
Who cares

If they saw what those eyes have seen.....
Oh how her heart it would bleed
If she only knew those abusive roots
And how the children would weep
If they only saw what those eyes have seen
It always keeps us longer than we wanted to stay
It always takes us further than we wanted to go
But you don't seem to mind at the time

Begging to be set free...
From what we were meant to be.

Innocence
It's inside you and your soul is longing,
Yearning
Pleading to be set free
Within your eyes,
Within my eyes,
Within our eyes
There could never be a more complete perversion of what we were meant to be
And with all that is in me I hate this
As we're sinking inside this ever-feeding illness
We are all quite silent
Sitting still.

"PS" - from Drawing Black Lines (P86's sophomore album)
==========
I hope you understand me a little more now... if only a little more.


(what is true? what is real? NOT what you feel, but you know eternally?)

Buchanan (btw - 2 months with "old claire" today)

Today I read a very good article by Pat Buchanan (yes, that Pat Buchanan - the conservative, the third party candidate, the MSNBC commentator) on Real Clear Politics (a great service for us political geeks).

I was walking with Claire today and met a neighbor, we talked for 10 minutes, found out that she is a widow (an opportunity to help a person in need "in your neighborhood" - there the people you meet , when your walking down the....you get the picture).

I got to thinking - "gee, wally, i would not have met half of the people i know now in Lapel (Indiana) if not for claire, i would not be as relaxed when i go to bed, i probably wouldn't have lost these 20 lbs so easily [ see - claire is my 2-3 mile a day walking buddy], and life would not be as fun, and i wouldn't have poop smell in the garbage outside, or bite marks on my hands (through gloves mind you)."

then i smiled as i though of how many people love their dogs, and would give money to the local kennel (ASPCA) yet are not as passionate about abortion/pregnancy. Enough with the arguments that Christians only care about babies getting born - and not the care after birth. That is not legit and I can't stand that charicature!~

i just don't get it. birth is birth, life is life. Ever read the declaration of Independence? What do you think the phrase "and our posterity" means? our horses? money? our land? NO... our children! Get that? our posterity - those yet to be born.... generations in the womb currently, or 5 years from now --also are guaranteed life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness. Yes...more than a blob of cells? I will side with 4th graders on this one - even they can tell life when they see it!
And... yes the Bible says so also! Seriously, think about it. it is those 2 months from being born, or 2 months from death that a socieity's love can really be discovered - beyond the words, policies and posters! And the partial birth stuff... that is just.... just... barbaric (like Germany AD 120 type barbaric)


Enjoy this article posted by Creators Syndicate, Inc.
==================================
The Catholic Case against Barack Obama (by Patrick Buchanan)

In the Pennsylvania primary, Barack Obama rolled up more than 90 percent of the African-American vote. Among Catholics, he lost by 40 points. The cool liberal Harvard Law grad was not a good fit for the socially conservative ethnics of Altoona, Aliquippa and Johnstown.
But if Barack had a problem with Catholics then, he has a far higher hurdle to surmount in the fall, with those millions of Catholics who still take their faith and moral code seriously.

For not only is Barack the most pro-abortion member of the Senate, with his straight A+ report card from the National Abortion Rights Action League and Planned Parenthood. He supports the late-term procedure known as partial-birth abortion, where the baby's skull is stabbed with scissors in the birth canal and the brains are sucked out to end its life swiftly and ease passage of the corpse into the pan.
Partial-birth abortion, said the late Sen. Pat Moynihan, "comes as close to infanticide as anything I have seen in our judiciary."

Yet, when Congress was voting to ban this terrible form of death for a mature fetus, Michelle Obama was signing fundraising letters pledging that, if elected, Barack would be "tireless" in keeping legal this "legitimate medical procedure."
And Barack did not let the militants down. When the Supreme Court upheld the congressional ban on this barbaric procedure, Barack denounced the court for denying "equal rights for women."

As David Freddoso reports in his new best-seller, "The Case Against Barack Obama," the Illinois senator goes further than any U.S. senator has dared go in defending what John Paul II called the "culture of death."
Thrice in the Illinois legislature, Obama helped block a bill that was designed solely to protect the life of infants already born, and outside the womb, who had miraculously survived the attempt to kill them during an abortion. Thrice, Obama voted to let doctors and nurses allow these tiny human beings die of neglect and be tossed out with the medical waste.

How can a man who purports to be a Christian justify this?
If, as its advocates contend, abortion has to remain legal to protect the life and health, mental and physical, of the mother, how is a mother's life or health in the least threatened by a baby no longer inside her -- but lying on a table or in a pan fighting for life and breath?
How is it essential for the life or health of a woman that her baby, who somehow survived the horrible ordeal of abortion, be left to die or put to death? Yet, that is what Obama voted for, thrice, in the Illinois Senate.
When a bill almost identical to the one Barack fought in Illinois, the Born Alive Infants Protection Act, came to the floor of the U.S. Senate in 2001, the vote was 98 to 0 in favor. Barbara Boxer, the most pro-abortion member of the Senate before Barack came, spoke out on its behalf:
"Of course, we believe everyone should deserve the protection of this bill. ... Who could be more vulnerable than a newborn baby? So, of course, we agree with that. ... We join with an 'aye' vote on this. I hope it will, in fact, be unanimous."

Obama says he opposed the Born Alive Infants Protection Act because he feared it might imperil Roe v. Wade. But if Roe v. Wade did allow infanticide or murder, which is what letting a tiny baby die of neglect or killing it outright amounts to, why would he not want that court decision reviewed and amended to outlaw infanticide?
Is the right to an abortion so sacrosanct to Obama that killing by neglect or snuffing out of the life of tiny babies outside the womb must be protected if necessary to preserve that right?

Obama is an abortion absolutist. "I could find no instance in his entire career," writes Freddoso, "in which he voted for any regulation or restriction on the practice of abortion."
In 2007, Barack pledged that, in his first act as president, he will sign the Freedom of Choice Act, which would cancel every federal, state or local regulation or restriction on abortion. The National Organization for Women says it would abolish all restrictions on government funding of abortion.
What we once called God's Country would become the nation on earth most zealously committed to an unrestricted right of abortion from conception to birth.

Before any devout Catholic, Evangelical Christian or Orthodox Jew votes for Obama, he or she might spend 15 minutes in Chapter 10 of Freddoso's "Case Against Barack." For if, as Catholics believe, abortion is the killing of an unborn child, and participation in an abortion entails automatic excommunication, how can a good Catholic support a candidate who will appoint justices to make Roe v. Wade eternal and eliminate all restrictions on a practice Catholics legislators have fought for three decades to curtail?
And which Catholic priests and prelates will it be who give invocations at Obama rallies, even as Mother Church fights to save the lives of unborn children whom Obama believes have no right to life and no rights at all?
==========================

I would tell a person to vote on just one issue. that's because I don't beleive it is that simple. BUT I will tell people that it is okay to disqualify a person because of their policies, statementes, record, etc... (like their views on a particular issue)... i find only good reason behind this approach!
Many of you know that I am a pro-life-federalist- libertarian on just about every issue... a bet that I wasn't going to vote for obama in 08 would have been good money spent anyway. But with the "I have a dream... and it is me... speech in Germany and now this commitment that his FIRST act would be to abolish the will of the people in many of THESE united states and impose his "radical" views on life (not on abortion... no, his votes help us to understand how he feels about getting "punished... with a baby" -- or so he's said).

Okay let me have it if you want.
That is my stance.
I am tossed up leaning more towards Bob Barr than McCain.... we'll see if I go from voting for a libertarian candidate, or to vote McCain to negate another's vote for Obama.

anywhoo.

8.8.08 = 15

Many people are all a-buzz concerning the official opening ceremonies of the Beijing Olympiad tonight. And it is a big deal. But to me it represents the "Minnesota niceness" of the world. I firmly believe that the all powerful bottom line in this world is more about resources, material, wealth, economic freedom. There is where differences are truly ignored and a common pursuit is shared - the pursuit of happiness.
Two countries maybe on each others nerves but usually they trade items together and the concerns to the economy often outweigh their prejudices. In some ways the Olympics are a shadow of the average person in each country that doesn't really care much about the over-arching geo-political forces, or travesties, of another country.
If I am swimming the 100 meter free-style and the swimmer next to me is from Sudan (country who has currently killed over a million and displaced over 4 million refugees - tribal, Christian, ethnic cleansing) - that person wants to beat their opponent - instead of refusing to swim against a person representing the horror of Darfur. Or if America sold your country weapons in the 80's and now those same weapons are causing death and tribal squabbling in your country... will you pull out of the race? Cause Micheal Phelps is representing America?
So, I am a fan of the Olympics, don't get me wrong -- but to see them as the answer to reconciliation is just not correct. They are a cleaner form of competition, of willful ignorance, of speeches and feelings against the world (possibly China, regularly a top 10 person on Amnesties list of worst human rights violators). I prefer the less clean, less pomp version of world markets and free & fair trade.

there is great 8.8.08 that I celebrate today.

Today is the 15th anniversary of my baptism in the name of the "Father, Son & Holy Spirit". I became a Christian 15 years ago - TRUE reconciliation. However I played my first year more like an Olympics with Jesus. I did my thing, he did his, we didn't talk much - and so I had the real thing, I was covered by his blood for my sins = no guilt, but I wasn't really engaged with the Bible, with our church, with prayer and service to mankind.
I had real reconciliation, peace, with God. But I acted like we were neighboring countries in need of just ignoring each other.
So, Today also marks 14 years since I got fed up with playing Christianity (don't they say your first year is always the hardest, worst?). I decided in 1994 that I was going to just read Mark chapter 6 (for example) - study it, ask questions, seek advice, commentaries -- find the meaning... and DO IT. And it has been a better way. 1 year trying to have it on my terms was like being married and having a date each week - but never really talking to each other. the last 14 years of daily readings, talking, thinking, praising, serving.. of "loving God and Others" ... beats the pants off the "false Olympic facade" that I had erected around the simplicity of childlike faith and mature conviction with Jesus Christ.

And so, i don't have time to walk through the last 15 years.. but I anticipate living at least another year, and seeing a large day in my life. When I am 32 next august, and I will have lived 16 years without Jesus and 16 years with him... I will have something more to say about each experience.
What I can praise God for today is the memory of a son, a brother, a friend that was not really nice, he was a good kid on the outside, didn't rebel for the sake of rebelling, but was a real jerk, hated much of life, saw injustice without hope, atrocity without rescue, sickness without the remedy.
Then he decided to spend a year looking into the answer that everyone else had told him they had found. Jesus. And he found the hope, rescue and remedy that he hated not knowing about. I am glad that that confused, inwardly depressed, outwardly sarcastic and painful 16 year old has been buried with Christ and a new person, a new Spirit, has come to reside in him for the last 15 years.
I am ever impressed that God would know my name, impressed more that he would even think of me, impressed more that he would have emotional feelings about me, impressed more that he cares for my future and personal happiness, impressed even more that he would die to bring peace between us - instead of some religious "Olympic" form of piety, prayer and sacrifice.

God is not as far away as we make him. However, he IS greater, more powerful, bigger, holier and more loving than we usually make him. I am grateful for my grandfather and grandmothers, my parents, friends and my pastor and especially a young preacher at camp name John Taplin who spoke to my heart 2 years in a row at Christian Harbor Youth Camp in Holcombe, WI.

Many go through life knowing that God is near, here, not far away. However their version of God, usually what they have heard and not studied - is a piece-meal of sermons, opinions, lectures, articles and "gut" feelings. And so they live with a CLOSE God who is their version of greatness, their version of powerful, their version of big, holy, love....
And they don't care for that god at all - a different god than the one of the Bible... and yet they have "Jesus" on this gods description. A mental idol (representation) that is not correct.
It is funny how that "god" seems to fit our mental puzzle for what he must be like... but then practically that "god's" puzzle piece doesn't line up with life. doesn't fit the way we thought.

And that is when we must make the decision: our terms, or Jesus' terms? I have found that the Bible challenges my mental "puzzle piece" more than I would like. BUT when I actually get it, try to live it out, it is funny how the puzzle piece that God describes himself as -- it actually fits with life!
And so, we can watch billions of dollars of investment, parade and pomp. however, you will not see the two children: one from North Korea, one child from South Korea -- that happen to find themselves among other children at a park jungle gym. And after several minutes they are laughing, dreaming up heroic scenes together, banishing the dragons, the evil sorcerers, and the demon's from their new little world. And somewhere there... in that little park. That $5,000 investment of some play area and grass.
The true look of reconciliation, forgiveness, of "life together" again is seen. Spend your billions on your "religiosity" of peace, reconciliation - all the while prostituting your Olympic team for politics and self-centered agendas. I will take the the simple faith of children, as they play. And water that seed with conviction, principle and passion. There is hope, rescue and remedy in that small little green park with two kids playing.

And if you think that your approach but be anything but child-like to accepting the gift of Jesus... you are like a 15 year old Josh Paroubek. and I hope you meet the 16 year old Josh Paroubek who grew "younger" in his need to approach his loving Father over a year - and "older" in his conviction, principle and passion.
It is a great paradox that I stepped through in childlike "faith" (pistis in Greek can also be translated as: trust, belief, giving your well being/future over to ______ ). That point in a 16 year old's life, that day, that hour, that moment when GOD was nearer than I expected him to be -- and more great, more powerful, bigger, holier and more loving than I had painted him out to be.

Oh for the Glory of the day
The day I took my Saviors painting away,
For the painting was painted by me through ignorance,
and replace by His self portriat offering a second chance.

I hope those who have found the hope, rescue and remedy of Christ can celebrate with me today.
I hope also that those who have not found Christ, but are interested, would seek to grow younger and older this year in relation to God in Christ.


May the name of Jesus be praised, raised and honored - now and forever more
(in this body of mine)

blurry.

after 10 hours of writing and filling out online applications...
i am glad i only have to do this once every so often...

whew!
time for the bed....

sleep run over my like a sweet river of death [some reading this will get it... some will just be disturbed]

(happy sunday ya'll)

road.

somehow we extended our trip again for a week. but it is time to get to the work of it all. we are headed back today (thursday) to Indy to pick up where we left and get started with our new life. after a good couple of weeks of helping a friend and resting, it is good to be leaving - and hard.

pray for us.

smallies.

so... today... zumbro river... small mouth bass... some large mouth also... a couple pike... and two teens who each caught every tree in the river!

good times.

good eats tonight with some salad and fresh corn!

fishing.

there are few things in this world that i enjoy as much as a good day of fishing. today i was able to hang out with 2 teens and Ike Karow... good times. We are going out on the Zumbro River tommorrow... then we are making a long voyage to Indy and the Cinty (Cincinnati) for a wedding on Saturday. whew!

(the pic is from camp two weeks back, but you get the idea...)

Then its off for new jobs on Monday for the Fall -- we are seriously considering a trip to India this December and January. So, we are praying for that... (you can too!)

Our goal is to have the commitments from friends, family and a few churches to be able to work part-time (wed-fri) each week for the Mission when we return in February... Then annually we would make a 3 week to 8 week trip to India during the holidays and after to assess current trends, strategies, goals, projects and get more interview/picture (etc) footage to help toss together a "STATE of the MISSION" report (multimedia report) for those supporting the mission and to createa 2009 (for example) report of the goals for the year, etc, and this would help in raising more capital for investors in the missions future.....

If we can work a 10 hour day together WED/TH/FRI and then travel on weekends for meetings and such it would help tremendously...(i suppose we maybe traveling for presentations on wednesdays also.... This way we can work MON/TUES each week to help pay off our debts and stay floating in other stuff.. This fall I think we may just get a couple full time jobs... we will see. Something to talk about on the way home!

thanks for keeping up with us.

cancelled.

Due to the "Norwalk Virus" our plans this week have changed. (plan B). So NE Iowa Service Camp is not an option this week.

We have been able to connect with many friends in rochester during these days, and will continue to this week. Until we return back home to Indy to get a couple jobs and get cracking. Matthew Naumann, a good friend of ours, has been gracious enough to open up his "Spar Oom" for us.

Thanks for your prayers.....

yep. 'nuff said!

   

relax.

this weekend we spent our time relaxing and connecting and thanking our very special friends, ed and charlotte hudgins, in eau claire. it is good to be back to visit. some downtime with my parents and friends from rochester will be appreciated this week as well.

we are preparing for service camp this week. and we are keeping up with ideas, conversations and communication with people up here who care to know. we don't know exactly the road ahead... or the details of our new ministry with BSSI. but the darkness of this road is lifting as the dawn is coming. we are beginnig to make our the color and the shape. and we are looking forward to the noon day sun and a fully realized position, agenda, calling and role in this small miniscule mission in india... yet important to soooo many who struggle as victims of HIV/AIDS, TB and Leprosy.

thank you to all who keep up with us. remember us. pray for us.

GO!

We began working officially for BSSI this week as we represented the mission to Pine Haven Christian Assembly's 7-8 zoneB camp. I also got to go fishing for 10+ hours... long overdew.

anyway. here is my favorite band to listen to on the road (which we are spending alot of time on these days).

This week we are meeting with people and letting them know where we are at spiritually, relationally, and a little more of the direction we are thinking we maybe headed.

prayers are always useful... and always gratefully recieved.

thanks.

next week is SERVICE camp in NE Iowa. 7-8th graders once again... (theme anyone?)

claire.

we love our new dog. each day is fun as she is becoming less scared and scarred from her past.

since we are traveling alot this month.

here is something to get you all by.

dial up.

we are up in lapel and have dial up speed.
since we are traveling during July... no need to upgrade quite yet.

so...
don't plan to hear much from me till then...(unless i post stuff at camp)

JOSH

final.

we begin our final week here in Eau Claire...

it has been good rest. i haven't read the books i wanted to. or taking the walks i wanted to. or even fished like i wanted to.

but i am rested now... and restless... i am ready for the road ahead.

we have no clue about the vision God will show us in the coming 3 months. but we feel that we are ready to begin again...
to "dream again" as it were.

Eco-pcrisy. (eco hypocrisy)

There is a new "class system" emerging in the politically correct world that disturbs me. It is those who feel they must ordain themselves "elders" of the evironment, humanity, etc. From there resources and potitions they speak a great game (with 1/2 logic, 1/2 fear mongering) and yet they feel that their "efforts" for the environment (climate change, non-fossil fuels, conservation, etc) give them a pass on actually doing their talk. That is the hard part in life -- integrity. Example... telling others to conserve when you don't "carpool" in your private jets to the Emmys.

With all the talk about Tim Russerts death recently on the news channels, I will say this -- he was stand up. Plain and simple. Good and faithful Catholic, son, husband, father, citizen. The amount of money that he wrote checks for, speeches given for free to help NGO's is staggering. But you never hear the quiet "salt" of the earth bragging about their job... they are busy doing the preserving, making the world taste good, keeping the world from rotting (the nature of salt in Jesus' day).

And then we come to the great icon, the modern prophet of the environment: Al Gore. With thousands upon thousands of "Green Renovation" dollars spent on his pad in Tennessee (the ideal farm i guess) he actually spent 10% more on energy than he did on his house last year. Which is no big deal because of the new "Enviro-class system" that is developing. Maybe Obama is correct... there are those who are the "have's and have nots". Al Gore "HAS" the money to offset his "carbon footprint" because he is part owner of a factory that could work at full capacity, but doesn't (therefore earning EXTRA carbon credits that... yep... Al Gore then purchases from his own factory). Does something sound fishy here? Isn't this like a "tax shelter" of the new tax of carbon credits. And so our world is shifting from those who can polute, i am sorry -- those who can AFFORD to pollute. And a world of those who cannot afford to pollute CO2 (which is what we breath OUT right? i mean... right?).

MACRO #1
And now the MACRO situation. The US economy will suffer greatly from this stupid idea of CO2 being a "pollution gas" and, therefore, we must tax it. I mean, beyond your "allowed" CO2 credit -- and 535 people on capital hill can figure that out?

I am a conservationist at heart. As a avid sportsmand and student who grew up learning the history of the Northern Plains I know how stupid the fur trade was when it came in here... killing off the wolves expecially, the buffalo, and logging...etc. BUT the point is we have progressed in this area. Yes some environmental groups helped raise the consciousness... the the plain fact is this --> the issac walton league was busy purchasing land to build cabins on while private hunting leagues (the "unlimmitted movements) were actually purchasing schemes to buy back land, breed, stock, lobby for birds, wildgame and other animal for sport hunting. And now they are thriving... (thriving like the caribou that are 4 times greater since drillingn in alaska... and the polar bear which are 3 times greater thatn 1970 in population).

I take the command from God to steward this world seriously (cause 2 acres of land in the country IS more beautiful that the tallest of sky-scrapers... but they are not opposed to each other, or enemies!!!).

That being said... let's burn coal, oil, etc. Lets keep doing it. Let's get this economy going on overdrive. It is very possible to get this economy growing at 5-8% if we cut so many taxes on the supply side and tax the purchasing (consumption) side. It is pretty simple... a steaming locomotive as an economy will provide us with the private capital, and government capital to build the future of energy (How about 3 new Nuclear plants for each state, better cars, cleaner cole...). Are we willing to take the tough road?

Would you take a 3 week break if it would help your marraige... or woudl you span that "healing" over a 9 month period when you can afford the time? That is the basic question - are you willing to unleash the engine of america in order to afford a dramatic shift in energy philosophy? If we keep this up for 10-15 more years.. if it means a market based approach to getting our "carbon" gas cut by 50% or greater.... are you willing to put up with it?

MACRO#2
What are we saying to my beloved India? We built our country up after WWI and WWII (that really didn't touch our land) while the rest of the world was in chaos and rebuilding... free of "carbon tax" (freedom, a concept huh?).

BUT hey... we are the country equivilent of "Al Gore" cause we can afford to buy back our "carbon excesses". (oh don't ever explain that we are 25-30% of the worlds economy and produce, 15-20% of the pollution, using 40% of the resources... all in all we are polluting less than we are producing!!! and the world is better for this, really! If nothing else.. look at the 50 billion that we give around the world each year to help those less fortunate outside the USA - and that is giving NOT by our gov't.)

It is unfair--i say. It is NOT a position of service or "loving your neighbor(nation) as yourself". We are not showing love for India by this stance. Couldn't we allow India to unleash their economy also (actually they are) and use that momentum for education, market based products, that give upward moving indian households more rupees in their pockets? Isn't that the solution? Get this car = and extra 3,000 rupees a month in your pocket? ($75 US)? Pay $20K rupees a year ($500 US) in order to have a Nuclear power plant that provides energy for your house, and provides cheap energy for businesses in your community driving down the cost of all products in the local market? Allow clean cole technology to be used to help build new products, but also to help build incenerators that burn local trash (and you actually get paid by the pound -- or "credited" as your garbage becomes fuel for your local cities government buildings -- ie. Rochester Minnesota's model)?

It's not fair for us to look at India, China, Africa, South Asian Islands, and new Middle Eastern countries wishing to build, transition, etc... and say "We have already gone down this road and we made it messy... you will too because you are even less responsibly and educated than us (egos?) and therefore we "as the self appointed commander of the world" will not allow you to develop either".

There will be no money HERE in the USA for NGO's, Churches, Businesses and even the Government to invest in our country and other countries.... and there will be no money for THOSE countries in the world that can actually do it "better" (whether it is industry, service, technology, food) for the world wide market. Free markets...they actually work!

THE EASY SOLUTION?
Cut business taxes, stop punishing savings and investing into the USA and the world... open up the markets to large amounts of money... and call it the "Organic Tax" (everyone loves that word now... ). Can you imagine? an "Organic Tax" that actually lesses the cost of something? Let's Slap the word "ORGANIC" on all nuclear power plants and they will become popular again!

THE HARD SOLUTION?
Educating yourself, having conversations over coffee, and doing what you can, supporting those companies, NGO's, Churches, Countries, Companies, and politicians that are for a better world, but don't believe it comes at the expense of the family budget and the developing nations of the world economies! Millions of people in India are depending on this over the next 50 years.... Millions of houses in America need a break and would LOVE to invest into the world. And, to be frank, 30 million households in America with the education to invest in the markets of ideas, philosophy, business, NGO's will do way better than the 435 house reps, 100 senators and 1 president in Washington. Not a "anti-government" rant... just the facts... the market chooses better, cheaper, faster than regulations, power and centralized "planning".

okay... thanks for reading.

g-bye.

hopefully i will be saying goodbye to a loved friend this week.

she has been good to me, my grandpa's ol'truck.

hopefullly a young 16 year old, or a college kid will want her.

[[if you do... you can email me.. joshparoubek@juno.com ]]

puggle.

if things go as planned i think we will have a 5 year old puggle this week.

a stray picked up by the chippewa county humane society.

her name is "mandy" but we are going with "old claire paroubek" in honor of "eau claire" and these special 6 weeks of our life. good memories and rest.

money.

when you think about it...
money is such a strange concept...
credit is a little stranger...

just waxin'

noise.

as it happens,
today... is a good day to stop and listen to the silence of "work" in my life, and the "symphony" of thoughts and ideas that i have.

weary for lack of focus.
lord, calm the symphony... as beautiful as it is.

sanctuary hum.

let me just say that PROJECT 86 gave probably the best concert (110 min) at Club 3 that I have ever witnessed last night.

gas = $18
frappicino = $2
T-shirt = $15
ticket = $15
parking = $4

riding with ED for 2.5 hours in a car, and spending 2. 5 hours watching "Claret" " Destnd Furthr" and "P 86" ....

yep!

results.

i have been reading through the book of acts lately(in the bible).

i have a new soap box.

"mars hill" " acts 17 churches" "engagement church movements" etc. i am certainly not against engaging a culture on all levels. going TO people before they come TO you as it were. engageing the post modern mind...etc.

"the mars hill experience" as one may say (the emergent movement is in someways a posterboy for this). i think there are a few "perceived" home runs (mars hill church, nooma, mcclaren, etc) in the movement... and many church planters are excited (sometimes drinking the coolaid - no more that "piper-ites" in mnpls). however... check this out.

===================================

acts 17

32 Now when they heard of the resurrection of the dead, some mocked. But others said, “We will hear you again about this.” 33 So Paul went out from their midst. 34 But some men joined him and believed, among whom also were Dionysius the Areopagite and a woman named Damaris and others with them.

===================================

did you see the church planted there? did you catch that church meeting at "________'s" house, the baptisms, the times paul stayed to teach and instruct the beleievers, the elders he appointed.... oh... did you miss that?

so then there is paul in corinth. haveing not had any REAL fruit from his visit to mars hill (actually that whole city)... unlike the good response from berea just verses earlier... he is poor, in need, and has to work a full time job (part time maybe living with two friends) as he continues ministry.. waiting for his friends to come (from the poor church in philippi) to bring ANOTHER offering. ( this my friends is one of the most amazing stories in all of the N.T. and sheds sooooo much light in the letter to the church at phillipi)

you see,

paul's M.O. was to have each church SEND him to the next... with a few months worth of money (or maybe a years worth.. we can only speculate).

the point? advancement depended on success at the last location (whether 2 months or two years at the "last" location).

and there was LITTLE success in athens... some... and, again, i would not recommend "NOT engaging the 'athens' of our current time" or any enclosed argument...

but i wonder if paul would say we are wasting our limitted resources on the wrong things..

why didn't paul set up and work a part time/full time job in athens? when did he push off?

luke doesn't explain all of these things... however i have noticed, after beingn a christian for 15 years and reading this book over 100 times now... something NEW!

this is my soapbox then currently.

why are we spending time on things that are "interesting" but not "producing" alot of fruit?

i fear that my intent to "understand youth culture" over the last 2 years was indeed spending 50% of my time in the wrong avenues, with the wrong kids/locations (actually), and not looking for the fruit ready for the picking, if that makes sense (what could have been established to carry on the work).

much of the growth of the resoration movement in the first 50 years was due to the expanse of a nation and people interested in spirituality but not loyal to their "denominations". sound familiar with today's spiritual climate.

i wonder if we can learn something here also. is the "simply christian" message a TRIPLE call to the "pagan" (far away from christ) and also to the "god fearer" those searching... and the "attendeer" or compared to a Jew ready for a messiah and finally learning that message... (ie: wanting a simpler church , a biblical one, and finally seeing the new testament mandates, suggestions, and evidences.... ).

question: is the academic and practical ministries world spending extra time in "athens" when paul would have moved on by now?

question: would early christian's in the first 2 centuries reference "mars hill" "acts 17" as much as we would? wasn't this story more damning of athens.... "woe to you athens..." and not luke suggesting "hey christians - check out this "way to do THE WAY" as he does earlier in the book of acts. i wonder if this was a "byword" for early christians.... "remembers athens" ... etc...

okay folks... several hundred words...

think for a while...

then get back to me. ( theparoubeks@juno.com )

Y.

so,
kathryn and i joined the family "y" of eau claire today for a month. they were willing to loosing the rules a little because of our circumstance. and why not, an easy $60 i say from us. and now we need to at least visit the why 10 times in the next 30 days to make it matter. however, i think now we will have a good exercise schedule for the remaining time here. and now that i have a goal to get down to a certain weight by the end of summer (or at least re-shaping my ... uh... current shape) this should be a good kick in the pants.

we are very glad to have a couple here (ed and charlotte) that are willing to allow us to ride their back for a month in order to relax, work out, spend time together, etc. RE-fuel. that is the word that seems to keep coming up.

though it is probably water weight. i am still glad that i have shed 6.3 pounds this last week. that's 2.75% of my body weight in one week. perhaps i will go for 5% this week... that would be 12.5 lbs. i think i usually push down about 25 lbs in a month and then plateau for a while. hopefully, as i start "power 90" in 6 weeks - i will have enough muscle confusion to keep the rate of decay... i mean... weight loss continuing. better health, better heath care costs, and a better outlook.

the right fuel going in (and limitted), the right fuel being used, and good rest (mentally, physically, etc) and we should be in business.

interest.

18 years old? invest 10K in a mutual fund.
average 10% growth over the long term.
retire at 68 (that is 10K for 50 years, not adding a dime).

retire with... $1,250,000.00

that is amazing!

birth.

slept in.
eggs and homemade hashbrowns.
haircut.
indiana jones.
park/petting zoo.
brewery tour.
meal overlooking a lake.
walmart.
myspace (my project86 fix)
movie.
massage.

happy birthday me!

settle.

today marks the end of our $300 (gas) midwest tour of friendship.

seeing friends, spending time together, games, fishing, movies, conversations, youth groups, laughter and sadness...  it has been a good time for us to remind ourselves how blessed we are with friends around the tri-state up here.

so we settle down into eau claire for about 6 weeks... occasionally traveling...

mostly working on life, marriage and preparing for the road ahead.

it will be a blessing to spend this time with some great friends... 

and to be of any help during their current rough/sad time of a parent's passing.

drill.

while we are building more nuclear.
while we are trying to bring solar and wind down to a good "collective" price.
while we are awaiting hydrogen cars...

let's drill.
check out the wonderful "Washington answers" to our oil...

we could get 90% (more if we go after the tar sands of Colorado, Montana and Canada)

and we wouldn't be supporting dictators...etc.

i am just so frustrated that the economy that represents 25% of the whole worlds GDP and over 35% of the worlds investments) is yelled at for creating 15-18% of the worlds pollution (can't you at least give us the grace to push out 25% of the worlds pollution is that is the role we play in the
total economy)

... really.

ah... why are we taking a whole day in congress to talk about state issues and not national ones!??!?!

sojourn.

and so begins a 10 long visit to friends houses, fishing, movies, cleaning, eating, laughing and probably many tears.

today we arrived at apple valley to visit friends, pray for those in Ecuadore, catch up on life in h.s. and college, play some wii... and catchup on the elections tonight.

and it is late... and what am i having a hard time turning off? this new burden to help BSSI raise funds so that the David and Lois Rees Hospital can keep functioning through this century... however, to then allow new money and people and talent and dreams to expand the work of BSSI/LIAT india... and to partner with more...etc.

it all seems so large... and weird to me... so why is it consuming me, and shaping me...

is this what it feels like for the Holy Spirit to shape you through circumstances also?

moving...

i was reminded yesterday in church about the necessity to remember we are citizens in the kingdom of our God and Lord and Savior no matter were we end up.

it also reminded me that we maybe limited in conversations, ministry, sight and touch... but, as we leave A.V.  and especially VCC we are still "members" abroad.  

dave mentioned that a "colony" represented the roman empire, citizenship, and if anything bad happened, any emergencies were needed... you could call up rome and they would come to rescue.  

so as i stood at the back of VCC and wrote our a prayer request for the prayer team/email list...  i knew that no matter were we may be... we can always communicate back to our "rome"  for help... spiritual, emotional, and probably physically also in the coming months/years. 

not to the exclusion of other churches... but valley is a special church for us... and we hope that we are (were) special to valley also.  it's good to know that you have a spiritual kingdom to call upon... and it is good to know that part of this kingdom is a physical one that is symbolically "VCC" (valley christian church)... to us. 

so, it becomes important to us to cling to this relationship... i am sure that we will find a couple churches to "regularly attend"...  but i am not sure when the moment will come to transfer a real membership (commitment to serve and be around) to any churches....

seeing that our "roles" in the kingdom are a'changin...

i am glad we have a "name" and can represent  Jesus and also Valley wherever we find ourselves.

...

...

yep.

sale.

nothing like a moving/rummage sale to put some of life in perspective.

i came across a project that i never finished during theprocess of packing stuff up today.
and pulled it from the "for sale" pile.

and it reminded me of a promise that i did not fulfill of camping several more times with the mrs. over the last two years (never visiting duluth, never walking in the headwaters of the mississippi, never trekking the black hills, never trout fishing in chatfield...etc).

so... symbolically i will take that old project and finish it... and make plans to go camping more.

=========
the moving sale was okay... the two big items (car and stereo) did not sell... but we have the gas money for our voyage to indiana.

that is a good thing.

pain.

today i was inspired. by "power90X" a new program... 90 days to a fitter, better you.
my brother in law may have his copy from last summer. so i figured... "what the heck, how about a mile run, and then walk back..."

that was an hour ago. a 10 minute mile... and a 40 minute walk back... and a HOT 15 minute shower. i am an idiot. i think i may be in the worse shape in my life--no kidding. it kinda serves as a good analogy of my spiritual and emotional (and also mental) life as well. i was doing some great exercise... and plateaued (after marriage, and seminary, and then india, and 2 years at valley). many can explain away differences as growth. i fell into that lie also. the muscle that was in my biceps and triceps is 1/2 of what it was 8 years ago... but it only seems 10% less (or so i tell myself that).. i will make friends along the way of course (i tell myself).... i am studying for worship on sundays and wednesday nights so i am in the word... i will start exercising after a senior minister arrives... and so the justification, ignorance, listlessness and dead man of old rear up again....

boy was i in pain today. i don't know if i have a pinched nerve or if it was a back spams (note: not spasms plural, but one solid, rock hard, spasm for 30 minutes). i was so close to just hitchin' it for 1/2 mile home... and for some reason i was listening to the "firside" songs on my iPOD. "we are not of those who shrink back and are destroyed" "I press on.." etc. as if i needed a reminder of stupidity and that is isolates us to were the Lord cares the most for us, and chuckles at us, and comforts us, and (in reality) DOESN'T stop the spam(s). doesn't stop the pain. doesn't water down the shame...

... but also doesn't leave either. i knew he was there, with me, and that the Holy Spirit was gettin his fill of "groans" that words cannot describe in order to intercess with.

there are many reasons for this change in our life... but there is a shame also. a shame of puting myself out there, squeezing the most out of me. and not really making me a priority. how easily my "days away" during my first year became a dreaming day with looney, lunch with friends and catching up in the afternoon. how easily one can sleep in till 8pm, 9pm and come into work after a shower having not read for himself, written encouraging emails, prayers and sharing the morning with his life partners...

how easily we are emotionally, spiritually, physically and pyschologically unplugging ourselves to whatever "reality show" is in our path (weather TV, or a friends life, etc). instead of striving for more, we are content to watch the lives of others on TV with a bowl of pop corn in one hand and ice cream in the other.

so, no big fireworks. no declarations of war. i am in a low spot, not depressed, but empty and in need of refueling. and i find that i am as dependent on Jesus for this living water as i was for the water of renewal in the beginning. and i say, i believe lord... help me with my unbelief.

... oh the freedom to be able to say that to the maker of heaven and earth, and not cower in the corner in fear of his temper, his angst, his wrath. i think that honesty in the King's throne room only serves to underscore the confidence of one's relationship with the king.

it maybe painful, but he is still at my side, and calls me to his side, calls me by name.... i know of no other feeling as pure, sweet and innocent. freedom.

perhaps pain is the cobblestone road that leads to the rusty old cast iron gate of freedom. few are they that can walk with this pain.. few are they with the energy to swing open the gate...but what a smell, what perfect grass, what peaceful sounds...

.. what freedom.

...because

i got to thinking today... which can be dangerous sometimes.

most of the greatest stories, greatest lives, greatest _____ (you fill it in) are wrapped up in pain, in sadness, in mistakes, in regrets. i am not sure if perfection means perfection. the BIBLE says we are to be perfect in many ways. one of those words actually means "complete" or "fully mature". i wonder if that is the perfect life one should strive for.

GOD doesn't wish for calamity on us, he doesn't force us to sin, he doesn't rejoice in divorce, addiction, buried anger, dishonest hearts... however, i wonder if he has a great amount of joy in taking a person from a ditch to 2nd in command of egypt? it would seem to me that GOD is wonderful in our obedience, and we are saved from so much pain. but, even when we are rebellious, or suffer from another's rebellion towards GOD -- i tend to see in scripture that GOD is a great FATHER and will rise to the occasion to make himself known and his name to be great through your life... in your life.

...in my life.

perhaps we would do better to remember the faithfulness, mighty hand and grace of our loving GOD and when we meet people in hurting circumstances -- we must first find the hope of 10 years down the road (what could happen, what GOD wishes to do for them) -- and then help them see that hope as well. it is a pitiful thing to ingore mistakes and "elephants" in the room at a funeral, it is a beautiful thing to recognize them and look past them... and see the hand of a mighty GOD who isn't afraid to get his hands dirty in the ashes of our mistakes and muddy in the dirt of our sins.

so, here is a "glory to GOD in the highest" from me today. i sure am glad that he is here. i sure am glad for hope. and i sure am glad for my wife to be here with me. if this is joy -- i'll take seconds!

warming

is it wrong to pray for global warming when we are getting 3 inches the night before APRIL!!!! ??????

Can't we get along with just a 2-4 degree difference in the world?

i watched a wonderful documentary (from the "brits") today again.
"the great global warming swindle" (obviously brits from the word swindle).

recommended highly to those who read this post!

an "endginning"

how does one describe the transition of goodbyes and hellos...

i am leaving a ministry near and dear to me today. one that has consumed me at times. one that has frustrated me at times. and one that has been a fuller, real, and great experience. i love valley christian church... i hate leaving it. but the timing is perfect to "END" or...

is it perfect for a new "BEGINNING"

as we have 3 months to slowly sift through life, to regain composure of self, to work on our marriage... to lose material we have latched onto, or gained (in the case of 30 lbs in 2 years... yuck!). but to begin the process of letting our hearts connect with our Lord again... and then with eachother... then to reconnect with friends... etc.... and finally to move to indiana...
to help kathryn's parent's mission (see "emrys and usha" on the links to the right)... and to find a new church family/fellowship.... part time labor work... but to focus on helping Benevolent Social Services of India (B.S.S.I) [[ or for you canadians Love in Action Trust of India -- L.I.A.T.]]. maybe the first step is a new name for a new era?

so we stand on a "endginning" an ending and a beginning at the same time.

progressively seeking a step of faith, a trust to shift all of your weight to that step... and then.. to step again.

Jesus hasn't failed me yet.... though i have him... hope beyond hope that i am not just a servant, but a friend.. and not just a friend but an adopted son of the CREATOR. one who doesn't slumber or sleep.
and now... i must retire...

it is 12:12 am... in 12 hours i will be eating at a "g-bye potluck" for us...
in 24 hours.... i will be ....

me.

mmmm...church

okay...vent...

sometimes the churchianity instead of christianity really gets under my nerves...

okay... most times...


okay.... always.

Easter...

Happy Resurrection Day everyone!
Hope your Sunday is blessed

1 Corinthians 15: 12-19 . . .

Now if Christ is proclaimed as raised from the dead,
how can some of you say that there is no resurrection of the dead?
But if there is no resurrection of the dead,
then not even Christ has been raised.
And if Christ has not been raised, then our preaching is in vain
and your faith is in vain.

We are even found to be misrepresenting God,
because we testified about God that he raised Christ,
whom he did not raise if it is true that the dead are not raised.

For if the dead are not raised,
not even Christ has been raised.

And if Christ has not been raised,
your faith is futile and you are still in your sins.

Then those also who have fallen asleep in Christ have perished.
If in Christ we have hope in this life only,
we are of all people most to be pitied.

were you there...

Thank God for his unfairness today.

HOLINESS (being fair)
Jesus lived a perfect life ==> gets heaven
I(we) have failed ==> eternal separation from God (hell)

GRACE (being unfair)
Jesus gets what I deserve....
I get what Jesus deserves.

amazing love!

"...that's what grace is. grace costs the giver everything, so that it costs the receiver NOTHING." (Philip Yancey)

5000 year leap

i am in the middle of reading a "patriotic" book on the constitution (and events surrounding it) and the 28 major values/ideals/principles (what have you) that the founders . i just read over the intention of the 10 amendment last night. it was a great chapter. i decided to print out a short form of the constitution as it now is to compare with the ideas that the founders presented.

the 10th amendment basically says, anything not expressed in the constitution is not the right of the government to legislate or to control--it becomes states rights. and the 9th amendment is close to it (to make sure that any new amendments do not hinder the first 8). the point? the founders wanted a very small, spread apart in powers, constantly changing (every 2,4,6 years) government so that the states had more rights, and that the states should follow the example so that the counties and towns do like wise.

i guess i would say it this way... example
founders wishes would be a tax system that is low and prioritized: 10% tax (5% to county/city, 3% state, 2% Washington).
currently we have something like this: 5% local, 5% state, 15% Washington.

i am learning quite a bit from the pens of our founders. for instance, America was set up to prevent a large welfare state. and now 33% of the budget for the D.C. government is a distribution of wealth for others (farmers, welfare, social security, unemployment)...

i am learning that senators were set up to advocate for the state. the legislators of the state and the representatives from the "house of reps" would sent 2 senators to Washington (not a vote till the 17th amendment) to keep Washington in check with state rights.

i am learning that the American my great great grandparents came here to live in was more like the government that the founders wanted. they warned against a system of full time politicians (career), a system where the free market would leave 25% of the population with 75% or more of the money... and to then allow the remaining 75% of the population to vote (pure democracy and not a representative government like we have).... to hire men (Washington) to professionally rob those who produce the most (help society the most) and distribute to those who cannot work as well, have more hurdles, or did not prepare/have insurance, etc.

anyhow. "The 5000 Year Leap" (recommended). gets a person thinking.

music.

lately i have been listening to scott phillips quite a bit.

www.scott-phillips.com

underdog

i am certainly not impressed at all with our current "big 3" picks for president. however, i am impressed that a 3% polling McCain in july ends up a nominee, and the 20 points down Clinton comes back last night to keep this thing going. if nothing else i hope this engages more than the 40% of america that usually votes and understands the power and the limits of d.c. i don't see how that could be bad.

angel eyes

one of my favorite songs was written by Jeff Healey (of the Jeff Healey Band). he is centered on the pic. age 41, died of cancer.
he lived a life more full than the average man, for sure, but it would have been amazing to see his creativity grow into his 60's...

my thanks to Jeff for some great 7-8th grade dance memories...
"what did i do? what did i say? to turn your angel eyes my way?"