The Confessions of St. Joshua [...ascend...]

Galatians 2:11-14

2009-05-06T19:00:00.001-04:00

But when Cephas came to Antioch, I opposed him to his face, because he stood condemned. For before certain m en came from James, he was eating with the Gentiles;’ but when they came he drew back and separated himself, fearing the circumcision party. And the rest of the Jews acted hypocritically along with him, so that even Barnabas was led astray by their hypocrisy. But when I saw that their conduct was not in step with the truth of the Gospel, I said to Cephas before them all, “If you, though a Jew, live like a Gentile and not like a Jew, how can you force the Gentiles to life like Jews?”

Cephas is the Aramaic name for Peter (“Rock”). Not so rocky and strong here however. Again when you see a “but” in Paul’s letters, it is time to stop and take note…somehow he is underscoring or preparing you for a large point.

Peter had no excuse, cause of his vision in ACTS to let the Gentiles into the church, to bow to this false teaching – not in line with the “truth” of the Gospel. Specifically that Gentiles can inherit the promises given to Abraham and can do it through faith and apart by “works of the Law” (becoming a convert to Judaism first).

Even Peter slipped back and depending more on man’s opinions than God’s revelation. And Paul was correct in rebuking him for it. He was not being a good example, and he was not following the Gospel of Jesus.

Bottom Line:
• It is the message, and not the messenger that is important. Though the messenger can destroy the message (false prophets, etc). All leaders must let the message shape their lives so much that it becomes second nature to live out the instructions that they now give. Not forced, but natural. Then these embarrassing scenes would be a lot fewer!

As I sit here in India:
• It is very important that the ‘cultural’ view of Jesus, Christianity, church governance (ie: 401C3) be left at the doors of the plane in Washington, D.C. and that I try not to transplant those issues here. It is biblical Christianity that people need, and even the church in America needs to discover core issues again. Why would I want to make people become “my type of Christian” before I will accept them? Why must they practice their faith our particular ways ?
• As I look over successful movements of Christianity here in India… the most controversial ‘contextualized’ approaches often seem the most likely to succeed. Without plowing up the Gospel and editing it… just as bad as adding to it… there are bridges already built by God for us to cross here to usher Christ into peoples paradigms. I must not shrink like Peter, or pervert the heart of God and the truth of the Gospel like the Judiazers.

Galatians 2:6-10

2009-05-05T07:00:00.000-04:00

And from those who seemed to be influential (what they were makes no difference to me; God shows no partiality)—those, I say, who seemed influential added nothing to me. On the contrary, when they saw that I had been entrusted with the gospel to the uncircumcised, just as Peter had been entrusted with the gospel to the circumcised (for he who worked through Peter for his apostolic ministry to the circumcised worked also though me for mine to the Gentiles), and when James and Cephas and John, who seemed to be pillars, perceived the grace that was given to me, they gave the right hand of fellowship to Barnabas and me, that we should go to the Gentiles and they to the circumcised. Only they asked us to remember the poor, the very thing I was eager to do.

Well, Paul’s gospel was laid before the important men of Jerusalem—and they saw no need to add anything to how Paul conveyed the life, death and resurrection of Jesus of Nazareth. So, if they didn’t see that Paul was lacking anything…like…say…having to become a JEW first, then why do other “start up apostles” seem to be trying to take over Paul’s church plants?

In fact Paul states that those in Jerusalem also agreed that Paul’s vocation to the Gentiles was given by God, and his message (by God) was not in error. The Galatians are Jews and Gentiles in churches that Paul established based on his Gospel message. So, before he corrects the brethren—they must know that he is an Apostle of Christ, and he speaks the truth.

I always thought “right hand of fellowship” was some country lingo from Black River Falls, WI growing up… low and behold – it is in the Bible!!!

Bottom Line:

Christ set the Apostles apart to witness to him and write down the accounts and teachings for the church to follow. It is their teachings and the letters that they have endorsed (and the Gospel they have endorsed) that we must follow. These issues are not up to some 2^nd Century theologian to pervert or distort… or a 21^st Century historical revisionist to tear apart. There is one Lord, one Hope and one Gospel.

As I sit here in India

To simply sit and read this, and not think about the history, life experience and testament of ACTS that supports this man’s life fails to honor scripture, and Paul. Paul is defending himself, as much as he is defending the other Apostles…as much as he is defending the Gospel itself. To honor the Apostles teaching (NT Scripture and Practice) is to honor the chosen men of Jesus that established his movement.

Galatians 2:1-5

2009-05-04T07:00:00.000-04:00

Then after fourteen years I went up again to Jerusalem with Barnabas, taking Titus along with me. I went up because of a revelation and set before them (though privately before those who seemed influential) the gospel that I proclaim among the Gentiles, in order to make sure I was not running or had not run in vain. But even Titus, who was with me, was not forced to be circumcised, though he was a Greek. Yet because of false brothers secretly brought in—who slipped in to spy out our freedom that we have in Christ Jesus, so that they might bring us into slavery—to them we did not yield in submission even for a moment, so that the truth of the gospel might be preserved for you.

It is interesting that Paul is just breezing by so much of his life and ministry, to the point. This letter is lacking the charm of his usually letters – in fact the intro and prayer is the shortest of any of his letters. It seems that Paul is quite angry at the false brothers and their insistence on circumcision, and his surprise at how easily the churches in Galatia have left the freedom of the Gospel.

Paul goes out of his way here to show that the leadership of Jerusalem, the head “Elders” over seeing some 20-40 thousand individuals in Jerusalem, did not require Titus (the Greek, the Greek in Jerusalem!) to be circumcised. So, where is the argument then from the new brothers (aka – the Judiazers).

Paul even points out that this is not new to him. He had to argue and stand firm with men even on that trip who were insisting on enslaving Greeks to a law that no Jew could live under. Paul is in love with the FREEDOM that we get with Jesus. The idea of grace is revolutionary in the spiritual life of a believer—unless they never understand it. And some, even in Jerusalem can’t see past their own traditions and history.

Bottom Line:
• The argument against the Judiazers is beginning to be made – remember that this letter is written aloud in public by a letter carrier approved by Paul.
• There is a new era established with Jesus. A New Covenant, contract, testament. There is freedom and truth in the message of Jesus – the freedom to be free in your conscious and freedom to actually serve God for the correct reasons.

As I sit here in India:
• There is much in my life that I could slump back into. There is much in my history before Jesus and the last 16 years with him, that I could let drag me down. But I must not let the past rule me… nor must I let the Gospel become a chain about me. It has freed me from my chains, from myself even. Joy comes with proper perspective—Lord let me never see it any other way!

Galatians 1:18-23

2009-04-29T08:26:00.000-04:00

Then after three years I went up to Jerusalem to visit Cephas and remained with him fifteen days. But I saw none of the other apostles except James the Lord’s brothers. (In what I am writing to you, before God, I do not lie!) Then I went into the regions of Syria and Cilicia. And I was still unknown in person to the churches of Judea that are in Christ. They only were hearing it said, “He who used to persecute us is now preaching the faith he once tried to destroy.” And they glorified God because of me.

Paul is continuing to build his case for not only his authority, but his unique authority. He is confident, as he should be. As a peer he traveled to Jerusalem three years after seeing Jesus on the road to Damascus. He is unique in his revelation of Jesus, but still he is the gentile representative (specifically) as Peter is the Jewish representative of Christ.

What is odd is the mentioning of James “the Lord’s brother”. This is the same James mentioned several times in the book of Acts, and the author of the New Testament book of James. It would appear that James and Jude (both brothers of Jesus) came to faith and grew into leaders of the Jerusalem church. Considered apostles… they were pillars. Perhaps this is why the disciples of Jesus became known as “The Twelve” and not just “The Apostles” in the first several decades of the church. Never the less. Paul is showing that the two largest leaders welcome him after 3 years of ministry.

Paul’s defense here should be taken to heart. He needs to make a thorough defense of himself, his message and his authority as a Spiritual Father to these churches that he helped start. He will be rebuking and challenging the false brothers, false teachers and a false test of faith that is invading the Galatian church later on. The deeper the rebuke, the deeper the defense of himself needs to be at the offset.

Perhaps the earliest records of Paul’s testimony would have been heard by others… “the one who once persecuted the church is now preaching the faith he tried to destroy.” And Paul gives credit where it is due! The churches glorified that Christ could forgive, and then use a man like Paul.

Bottom Line:
• Paul was unique because he was not an apostle sent by “men” but by God. However, this also means that he is not sent by the apostles either. Jesus appeared to Paul and “sent” him (appointed him). So Paul is a co-worker to the apostles and not a messenger of theirs.
• It is kinda natural in a way that the out of the norm apostle is the one that is also the out of Judea apostle. It must have been a jolt at first that Paul (who grew up away from Jerusalem, but studied and was on the fast track to being a major leader in the Sanhedrin (Jewish Senate) would then be “exiled” into church planting all over the Roman world.

As I sit here in India:
• I guess one has to be careful of all the “dreams of men”. Just because someone claims something, doesn’t mean it is the truth. I think Paul is showing that the Apostles were correctly cautious in welcoming Paul. And the Paul was also cautious in meeting them. Both so that “his gospel” (the way he preached Jesus) would not be influenced by them, and so his ministry would stand alone from “the twelve”.

Galatians 1:15-17

2009-04-28T23:27:00.002-04:00

But when he who had set me apart before I was born, and who called me by his grace, was pleased to reveal his Son to me, in order that I might preach him among the Gentiles, I did not immediately consult with anyone; nor did I go up to Jerusalem to those who were apostles before me, but I went away into Arabia, and returned again to Damascus.

Usually when one reads ‘BUT’ in Paul’s letters – one should make a note to read over that statement again. It is a change of pace, a change of rhythm for Paul. At least that is my impression. It doesn’t change the subject… but it is like those warning bumps before stop signs on country roads. You know those? Paul is notorious for taking us on scenic routes of his theology, enjoying the grand nature and beauty of Jesus – so much so that we often need those bumps to remind us that we are come close to a stop in our conversation with Paul and he is now showing a contrast.

I have often been slightly confused with this section of scripture. It is clear that the active entity here is the Lord (setting apart, calling, revealing). There is a divine intention with Paul’s life. So I simply confess that I don’t understand this mystery of providence and sovereignty. To not belabor the point, or go too far into my own understanding:

…We cannot all expect that God has our days planned out for us. There is little in scripture to assert that expectation for each one of us. But from time to time we have leaders (a Moses, a Paul, a church planter, a unique missionary going where none have gone…etc) that are specifically chosen by God sometime in their life, or before it. And one has to wonder the inner thoughts of a person like that – contemplating the hand of God in their life even before they considered God, or his will for them. I understand God can pick those he wants to use for his purposes… and they intern have the same freedoms we do, but a limited playing field in life, I suppose. So, it makes me wonder how Paul contemplated these things.

Back to the theme of Paul here. He is plainly asserting that his Gospel is from Jesus Christ… and not man’s thoughts. Also, it is not the summary of all the testimonies of the Apostles (of which he has joined in their ranks – being a witness to the risen Lord and taught by Jesus). Paul began preaching and teaching before any approval from Peter, or any one else. He knew what had happened to him and his road ahead. As the Lord also spoke in the book of ACTS, “I will show him how much he must suffer for my name.” Paul was ready to suffer by the hands of Jews, Gentiles and Christians as well – who wouldn’t believe all of this and would reject him.

Notice that Paul is carrying his authority through verse 1, 10 and now 17?

Bottom Line:

· Paul is such a unique character. He is the exact example of the life lived in Christ. From rebellion to confession. From persecutor to promoter. This reversal of one of the first witnesses of Jesus should make us urgently pray for and expect some of the most negative advocates against Jesus to turn out to be some of the best evangelists for him (Josh McDowell, Lee Strobel, etc).

· This must happen through direct impact of the Revelation of God. A few will see Jesus (like Paul) but these are the exceptions. Mostly it is the reversal of life that all Christians should have that make people take notice and hopefully, after taking notice, the preaching, reading and contemplation of the sayings of Jesus and the Bible as a whole will allow the Holy Spirit to directly impact ones life apart from the salvation found in Jesus alone.

As I sit here in India:

· I still hate Satan here in India. I hate the lies and chains of false religions, philosophies, false promises, etc. But I must always see many here as prisoners to a system they were born into. A system that man and beast (satan) have shaped over 4-6 millennia. And they who promote this system the most, perhaps, will be the ones who will meet Jesus Christ and soon promote what they formerly persecuted. Is God any different today? Does he not enjoy and desire this also? Former Muslims, atheists, Hindus, Jews and Buddhists point us towards a resounding, “YES, the same God desires all to come to him now through the way made by his Son.”

Galatians 1:11-14

2009-04-26T22:47:00.001-04:00

For I would have you know, brothers, that the gospel that was preached by me is not man’s gospel. For I did not receive it from any man, nor was I taught it, but I received it through a revelation of Jesus Christ. For you have heard of my former life in Judaism, how I persecuted the church of God violently and tried to destroy it. I was advancing in Judaism beyond many of my own age among my people, so extremely zealous was I for the traditions of my fathers.

Paul again is reminding his audience of the “God vs. Man” argument (apparent in verse 14’s ‘traditions of my fathers’ statement). Paul is uniquely qualified as an Apostle and therefore, his message is unique from all other Apostles. This is why he has claimed in other places to be one “abnormally born” as an apostle – actually it means still born, or premature. It wasn’t a dream of man, a cunning story, a legend or a myth—it was Christ himself who appear and then taught Paul. Christians too often skip over these outrageous matters of Faith. I, Josh, believe Jesus rose from the grave in a new form, was later glorified and went to be with God the Father – but came back to earth to appear to Saul/Paul in the middle of the desert. It is weird, to be frank, it is abnormal. Not impossible by any means, just out of the ordinary.

This brings up a large point: REVELATION. It usurps all. Disclosure, especially seeing that the Bible claims to be a running commentary on the plan of God to conquer sin, death and to re-create a world again, post-redemption. Several times God surprises men with further revelations of his plan—these plans actually, in retrospect, make complete sense…but were somewhat hidden.

Such a surprise was this man who was “zealous” (literally meaning ‘daring the sword’ aka willing to die and willing to kill) for the TRADITIONS (somewhat corrupted by the time of Jesus and Paul) of the Elders and yet missing the point of God’s heart, desire and plan for ALL the NATIONS. Please Google Isaiah 45:22-23.

Bottom Line:

1- We also must see the contrast of God’s will (revelation) when man’s traditions (straying from previous revelation) have failed to keep the fences up guarding God’s will—or have readjusted the fences and are limiting consideration of God’s soverignity in his work.

2- Paul is making an argument even that this is happening in the Church of Christ. That this same zealous fervor for the “traditions” that is threatening to split Christianity and worse yet – is perverting the true nature, freedom and promise of the Gospel of Christ! I very large warning is beginning to be made… and history screams of the forgetfulness of the Church with this early episode in the regions of Galatia.

As I sit here in India:

I must always enjoy my heritage and history in Christ. However—when the type of _______ (fill blank in with music, preaching, service, missions trip, etc) becomes a model that I use as a striking stone with all other Christian experiences, I need to seriously consider the abiblical (nonbiblical) and perhaps anti-biblical nature of the American traditions surrounding our ideas of “church”. It is fine to add to the various activities of the church if it helps the mission—however it is not okay to add to the simplicity of the prophecies, life, death, resurrection and ascension of Jesus of Nazareth.

Galatians 1:6-10

2009-04-24T19:51:00.001-04:00

I am astonished that you are so quickly deserting him who called you in the grace of Christ and are turning to a different gospel— not that there is another one, but there are some who trouble you and want to distort the gospel of Christ. But even if we or an angel from heaven should preach to you a gospel contrary to the one we preached to you, let him be accursed. As we have said before, so now I say again: If anyone is preaching to you a gospel contrary to the one you received, let him be accursed. For am I now seeking the approval of man, or of God? Or am I trying to please man? If I were still trying to please man, I would not be a servant of Christ.

Sometimes thing are indeed strikingly different. I am in a land that desires the compromise of many things in order to create harmony. It is a real value of Hinduism, or rather Hindu philosophy that I can appreciate: the desire to see a cease of conflict and a rise of a better solution (Buddha called this the ‘third and higher way’). However, there are times when you simply cannot have it both ways. When a person has 60% of something, there is only 40% left over. It just is.

Paul usually has 8-12 verses after his introduction(formal) to lavish a beginning prayer of praise to his recipients. It is token Paul. Truly he was a genius of speech, debate, rhetoric -- what have you. But not here. It should really be observed that Paul writes in a speech format (something to be delivered by a letter carrier – as in recited openly to a church, not just handed over). And there is no praise, only a quick to-the-point paragraph to underscore the seriousness of this letter.

Paul is genuinely surprised at the speed that the church has fallen to false teaching, motivations and specifically a revision of the Gospel message concerning Jesus that he himself set before these churches in the Galatian area of Asia Minor (modern: Turkey). Paul refers to himself as the “him who called you in the grace of Christ”. Again, I think it is intentional that the one with AUTHORITY (Paul, through the RISEN Jesus) does not overpower this church with his Apostleship but reminds them of the message of Christ – a message of grace (of favor, deliverance, death, forgiveness…that great equalizer of sin).

We have here the fist hint that there is opposition to Paul’s ministry from WITHIN the church. This letter will be addressing, as it is recited out loud verbatim to the church by the letter carrier, these specific members. They cannot hide from what will be said, and it will be obvious to all who Paul is calling out, and their motivations for changing the Gospel of Jesus.

Paul’s condemnation of these individuals – who took the Good News of Jesus, the Gospel, that the Apostles and their disciples have been entrusted to carry to all the nations—and EDIT the message and the requirements of Faith in Christ. This does remind us of Paul’s Jewish heritage. “Let them be damned”.

Verse 10 finally brackets this section with the previous, actually the very first verse. Paul is an Apostle by the will of God, through the appearing of Jesus to himself. And therefore he has no one to live for, report to, truly fear but God. Why should he be concerned with not offending those who are his spiritual children when they are clearly wrong? Is love going to look away as a neighbor you love and care for builds his house on sand and not rock? Will you stand and shout to your neighbor who’s house is on fire – or will you take your hose to him, or break in to save him and use his fire extinguisher? Yes, there sometimes is no compromise and it is black and white – love seeks the best for others, even from themselves.

Bottom Line:

The Galatian church has changed, moved, rotated somehow in the equation – But God has not. The Gospel has not changed since the beginning of the events in Jerusalem some 15 years earlier. No, Paul is proclaiming “YOU have changed the rules, the boundaries, and the message of the Gospel…for the worse!”
Paul is following God, not man. If the false teachers and their followers are creating a different Gospel, then Paul will be parting with them. Paul, the chief persecutor of the church, many of the stories of his own pursecussion fresh in people’s memories after all of these years in Christ’s service. Paul replies to this situation saying, “I have changed from hating “the way of Christ”(Gospel) for the better.”
It is real. This is a boundary, a line in the sand, that Paul’s opposition in his absence has drawn. And he complies with this fact: His ‘change’ is real change, these new teachers ‘change’ is hollow and against Paul and Jesus.

As I sit in India:

· The more things change, the more we need to discover and cling to what stays the same. We discussed in a meeting yesterday the fact that many new words come into our language and vocabulary because of technology, trade and other factors. After 4-5 generations – it is difficult to know what is truly from your language, or was a borrowed word. Americans are always borrowing from everyone! In Telegu (the state language of “Andhra Pradesh”) cell phone is “Cellphonoh” phonetically. Notice a “transliteration” there. But in 100 years many would die to defend the stance that this word is purely Telegu, and has not influence from outside.

· This paragraph at the begging of this letter reminds me of that eccentric father in “My Big Fat Greek Wedding” who claims everything can be traced to Greek original roots. Revisionism. And this humor of the movie when transferred to the presentation of the very foundation of Christianity (the Gospel (life, death, resurrection and return of Jesus) becomes a dangerous cancer to the life, health and spread of Christianity. We must always be on alert to how easily it is to require more, assume more and substitute the “period’ statements of God with a “ ; however,’ statement.

Galatians 1:1-5

2009-04-24T00:15:00.001-04:00

Paul, an apostle--not from men nor through man, but through Jesus Christ and God the Father, who raised him from the dead-- and all the brothers who are with me, To the churches of Galatia: Grace to you and peace from God our Father and the Lord Jesus Christ, who gave himself for our sins to deliver us from the present evil age, according to the will of our God and Father, to whom be the glory forever and ever. Amen.

Paul had such a awkward entering in to the Body of Christ—from a persecutor (approving of deaths, imprisonments, public embarrassment, harassment) of this sect of Judaism to it’s most vocal, active and enduring advocate of the early first century. It is then through this “power” that appeared to him on the road to Damascus and this “gospel(good news)” that he accepted in faith and baptism 3 days later that he appeals to in this letter.

I find it interesting that Paul’s experience, and much of his ‘theology’ of Jesus is based on the DEATH and REZURRECTION of Jesus Christ (aka Jesus of Nazareth). Much of the Christian experience to Paul requires the necessity to associate ones life with the DEATH of Jesus (faith in that event and the promise of this event); and to associate then in the promises of REZURRECTION (indeed Jesus was whom he claimed to be, these events were not outside God’s will, in fact it was His will, eternal life, words and teaching of authority—all that Jesus taught in his ministry should be well studied, etc.)

As Paul writes to many of the churches he help begin, he justifies his Apostleship (literally: one who is sent with authority) through appealing to Jesus as RAISED and God the Father as the POWER that raised him. He is not appealing to the one that died for our sins, and the one who’s will demanded that He would sacrifice His Son for justice. No, it is power, the head of the church, the Creator of all that Paul is insisting on as his “Boss”. Not a mere man claiming to be something he is not, or claiming authority to teach something he knows little of (as we will see coming later in the letter).

Second then he greets his spiritual family with the substance of the DEATH of Jesus, grace and peace. I think this is just a combination of Roman ideals of goodwill (that God has our best in mind, we can trust that) and Jewish peace (wholeness, oneness, prosperity of joy, peace in the midst of chaos). But the interesting point is the justification for this is the dying of Jesus aka the sending of God’s Son as a sacrifice. So after Paul cites the power of God for his Apostleship and authority, he then quickly reminds all of the family of God (that he serves as an Apostle and doesn’t ‘lord over’) that our grace and peace come directly from God and we can know he is that good because of the one who has died for us. To be our deliverer.

Finally all of this was to the will of God the father, and so is Paul’s apostleship (as he will argue later) and so is Paul’s authority in his teaching (especially when the Apostles add to the teachings of Christ and set new precedents… it is extremely important that anyone who adds to the teachings of Jesus, or further clarifies them (ie: Paul’s’ teaching on marriage in Corinthians) that this individual be appointed by Jesus Christ or one of his Apostles or they should not be trusted (as we will see later in the letter).

Bottom line?
1- Jesus is the one who BUILDS his church with those whom he wishes, and it is his direct extension and delegation of his authority as the risen Lord and not the delivering sacrifice that our faith must root itself in – especially our faith in the New Testament documents, leadership, and our current leaders of today (elders, pastors, etc).
2- The church is the community of the BROKEN. There is no one in Christ, not necessarily in the church community or building, but “in Christ” that doesn’t get there without the impact of Gods grace and peace. There is no room for boasting in self, but only in Christ. All must come into the family through the death of Christ, the deliverance from sin. New life is our gift, not our entitlement.
3- The family of God to function correctly must be the community of the BELOVED. First the community of the Beloved Son of God (our deep feelings of grateful love and affection towards our Lord and God and His heart towards us). Second the community must hold our Maundy Thursday commandment to “love each other as I have loved you” is such a greater position as we reflect on and grow in our appreciation for the deliverance of our sins and the confidence of Jesus as Lord of his people (his body, his church, etc). Frankly it is God’s will. That simple!

As I sit in India:
• If I am to do any action in my life I must reflect on the general will of God morally… I must then reflect on the additional ‘law of Christ’ or ‘law of Love’ as a Christian… I must embrace the further commandments in Jesus’ church but also the true freedom we have knowing the boundaries and all that we can do and still know that we are definitely in God’s will…this is even more important to reflect on when you are thinking outside of yourself (who, what, when, where and why to help minister in this world)… lastly I must reflect on the awesome tasks of Jesus and when I consider full-time mission work, ministry work, I must give the Lord time to choose whether he wishes to intervene into my life and declare his will, to disclose his idea for my life, if he so chooses.
• Nothing will help our marriage as we spend 40 days here in India unless I also realize the calling in Jesus to be a husband. To take that role now not just as a created being, but also as a recreated disciple of Jesus under his authority to SERVE Kathryn. This will bear directly with my role to be a vessel of GRACE and PEACE from both Jesus and me. It is truly remarkable that Jesus is willing to step back from what he could do, and chooses to allow Kathryn and myself (mistakes and all) to grow in our understanding of his love for our spouse and our growing love for him/her.
• The future of this mission, the ministry of Christ’s love share to all –regardless of background, faith, income, caste, sex, etc—and the task of helping in communication, fundraising and future development of BSSI MUST be a ordained thing that Jesus places his authority on (to truly CALL us into this work) and it must not be a really great idea to help a family member. The motivations and the move to come here over the last year has been good. But now we must return with a real sense of our role. One cannot be 90% convinced and attempt to stand before a missions team, or 300 members of a church to share the need of BSSI.

Well, a lot for just an introduction to a letter of Paul. And a prayer for shorter posts in the days ahead.

"wither/ascend" [artist: stavesacre]

2009-02-11T03:06:00.001-05:00

the pain will come with the morning sun
will the night betray the day
blistered skin withered from within
scratch to shed this shell away
will you know my name or will i hang my head in shame
will someone take this tired skin that i've been dying in
will someone hold me to the light and if I die tonight
then take this broken man and wrap me tight within this brand new skin
...
watch me fly
freedom like wings and i will use them
freedom like wings and i will spread them wide
watch me fly...
freedom my wings...
freedom my wings...
and rise
one day my ashes will return to earthly slumber
spread far and wide across the desert and the sea
until then i will live each day in awe and wonder
look forward to each sunrise

on time.

2008-12-30T13:58:00.004-05:00

It never ceases to amaze me the way God is right on time when he is running the show. It also never ceases to frustrate me sometimes.

no big new years resolutions - we have enough on our plate in two days as we begin officially the task of church relations for BSSI.

more posts to come in the new year, as we get back onto the on-ramp and enter civilization again after a much needed 5 months of sabbath (meaning "nothing").

we also maybe opening a new blog to chronicle our trip and our life for potential supporters. Anywhoo.

HNY!
-doc-

Justice in a Manger?

2008-12-08T11:56:00.002-05:00

I often find peace and hope in the second coming of Jesus. There is a band I regularly enjoy named Stavesacre (side: worth checking out at stavesacre.com). Their sophomore release ending track is titled "Scarecrow" and speaks of the "righteous" judgement of God that is coming down because of the "innocent blood crying from the ground." It doesn't take a 140 I.Q. to figure out things are pretty much a wreck in this world. There seems to be a large contingent of leashes that the "worst of us" have broken free from. Why do we feel this way? Why do we strive for this concept of fairness and justice? "balance" as many eastern persuasions would call it. Why do we find ourselves humbly angry at God from time to time if we truly beleive that he is all wise and this is his perferred way to fix our mess?

The Bible often describes the "Great Day of the Lord" (the Day of Judgement, Second Coming of Jesus Christ, Parousia) with "clouds". The great Judge is riding on clouds. This is important as this imagery is a direct metaphor to judgement, punishment and deliverance for the innocent(blood, also). But how often to we look at the manger in this lens? How often to we see the birth of Jesus as a direct assault on oppressive governments, corrupt social systems, unjust opportunities, rebellion to a Higher standard, and on personal freedom of choice to hurt others (or self)?

I have been forced to consider this idea again this week after a sermon I heard a day ago, and my favorite song (O Holy Night) being played this time of year. Consider this scripture and this stanza ... things that stirr a familar longing for justice in my heart when I hear or sing them... an answer to a lonely hope in my soul...

Luke 1:50-53 (a section of the Magnificat)

And his mercy is for those who fear him

from generation to generation.

He has shown strength with his arm;

he has scattered the proud in the thoughts of their hearts;

he has brought down the mighty from their thrones

and exalted those of humble estate;

he has filled the hungry with good things,

and the rich he has sent away empty.

O Holy Night (traditional third stanza)

Truly He taught us to love one another;

His law is love and His Gospel is peace.

Chains shall He break for the slave is our brother

And in His Name all oppression shall cease.
Sweet hymns of joy in grateful chorus raise we,

Let all within us praise His holy Name!

Just a thought for your holiday week. As some of us watch snow gently fall to the earth; others here contemplating lost wages as rain storms sweep through today and next; the bustle of Wal-mart and the quiet isles of Bloomingdales; the free soup kitchens and the overpriced wings at Applebees. The wells wishes of "Merry Christmas" and the luke warm "how ya doin'?" of "Happy Holidays".

This is no happening of chance, no easily defined ying-yang answer .. there is a real attainment of being "fully human" and a hollow ringing of "all man can obtain" that is on display for those who seek to truly see.

Perhaps that little boy in the manger is a great ringing bell for freedom of the oppressed, sight to the blind, healing for the wounded and the great year of Jubilee (the Lord's favor)". And perhaps we will discover what made King Herod fear the baby in a manger... the spiritual, physical, emotional, political, personal and economic death certificate to all oppression, injustice and rebellion against the Holy One of Israel. A beautiful healthy new boy to Mary. The deliverer, the Savior, the Judge... the promise given to innocent blood as it cries for justice.

As the snow falls, and as I think about the Creator being born to a poor family in a garage out behind the hotel 70 miles from his hometown, I wonder if there isn't anyone that Jesus can relate to... or that his birth did not have in mind... this life had it mind... his death and resurrection had in mind... his sending of the Holy Spirit and birth of his Church had in mind... or his return with great joy and great horror anguish has in mind.

The slave is now our brother.
Praise be His Holy name!

Tis' the season...

2008-12-03T22:01:00.002-05:00

As this week marks a full 6 months sense we left the Apple Valley area...
I will begin writing more again as it is "time" to pick up many areas where they left off and continue the journey God has called Kathryn and I to take.

Unsure as of yet what this change will mean for my thoughts and content - but looking forward to documenting an "unassuming" life. Or as I have read from the Apostle Paul to "make it your ambition to lead a quite life".

Des Colores!

EVILA? (yes I am)

2008-10-03T21:26:00.001-04:00

We are currently waiting for high speed (DSL)... probably October 15th, we will be back in gear.

For now, we are definitely alive and kickin'

DOC

Innocence.

2008-08-18T19:29:00.011-04:00

Many have asked me what the picture on my blog is for - the eye.

It has to do with a project 86 song that is raw, heavy, screaming and true.
The lyrics are below. It basically talks about what we are longing to see again... what we have lost.
Innocence. i have forgiveness, and i am no longer in fear of punishment -it has already been given to Jesus. But there is a former "old josh" (what Paul cause the "old man" - the FLESH)... the realm of sin, the Dominion of slavery and rebellion that i once lived in.. and find myself drifting in those former neighborhoods sometimes.

it is an aching. a desire. a freedom i long for.
i was talking with my boss on the way home from work today about heaven... if there will be fishing there. etc. but really God has been speaking to my heart about my heart lately... how it needs to be totally his... given over to him for honor, and worship... but also for protection. Jesus knows how to handle my heart, he will guard it... (read: the Holy Spirit also here). But i seem to think i can handle my heart... my will... my desire.. somehow i forget that we have these "training wheels" till we die.

and this is the longing and freedom i await for...
it has been said "theologically" in church history that DEATH came into the world in 3 form after the fall.

the SOUL died immediately (separation from God)
the SPIRIT died progressively (loosing our will, our desires, our wills became set against truth)
the BODY died eventually (death was a mercy judgement in view on an eternity of #1 and #2)

And it has been said that we are transformed in Christ

the SOUL is saved immediately (Salvation -, saved, alive again)
the SPIRIT is saved progressively (Sanctification - becoming holy )
the BODY will be saved eventually (Glorification - a Resurrection body)

It is #3 that i long for...
it is the daily grind of sin, of being an enemy of sin, of battling and warring in my soul, my spirit, my body... that i hate...
and so this "eye" on my blog is the reminder that the sacrifice is finished at Calvary, though I am not. The name stamped on my soul is Jesus - though my body is not yet like his.

and i find myself, longing, yearning, pleading to be set free.

SIN. it is ugly. EVIL. it is rebellion. DEATH. it is still the enemy, but conquered.

EVEN SO, COME LORD JESUS!

(if you have a chance to listen to this song on the Internet... or a friend... please do!)

===========================
"PS" - bold italics mine

Her heart bleeds...
It is a basis for your heartfelt hunger so gaze
At the page at the faces of nameless...
You're alone again
And this distortion is an apt replacement for
An unquenchable desire for more
More pages strewn across this sickening floor
I can't look at this
I can't look at you
I can't look at me
Who cares

If they saw what those eyes have seen.....
Oh how her heart it would bleed
If she only knew those abusive roots
And how the children would weep
If they only saw what those eyes have seen
It always keeps us longer than we wanted to stay
It always takes us further than we wanted to go
But you don't seem to mind at the time

Begging to be set free...
From what we were meant to be.

Innocence
It's inside you and your soul is longing,
Yearning
Pleading to be set free
Within your eyes,
Within my eyes,
Within our eyes
There could never be a more complete perversion of what we were meant to be
And with all that is in me I hate this
As we're sinking inside this ever-feeding illness
We are all quite silent
Sitting still.

"PS" - from Drawing Black Lines (P86's sophomore album)
==========
I hope you understand me a little more now... if only a little more.

(what is true? what is real? NOT what you feel, but you know eternally?)

Buchanan (btw - 2 months with "old claire" today)

2008-08-12T17:15:00.002-04:00

Today I read a very good article by Pat Buchanan (yes, that Pat Buchanan - the conservative, the third party candidate, the MSNBC commentator) on Real Clear Politics (a great service for us political geeks).

I was walking with Claire today and met a neighbor, we talked for 10 minutes, found out that she is a widow (an opportunity to help a person in need "in your neighborhood" - there the people you meet , when your walking down the....you get the picture).

I got to thinking - "gee, wally, i would not have met half of the people i know now in Lapel (Indiana) if not for claire, i would not be as relaxed when i go to bed, i probably wouldn't have lost these 20 lbs so easily [ see - claire is my 2-3 mile a day walking buddy], and life would not be as fun, and i wouldn't have poop smell in the garbage outside, or bite marks on my hands (through gloves mind you)."

then i smiled as i though of how many people love their dogs, and would give money to the local kennel (ASPCA) yet are not as passionate about abortion/pregnancy. Enough with the arguments that Christians only care about babies getting born - and not the care after birth. That is not legit and I can't stand that charicature!~

i just don't get it. birth is birth, life is life. Ever read the declaration of Independence? What do you think the phrase "and our posterity" means? our horses? money? our land? NO... our children! Get that? our posterity - those yet to be born.... generations in the womb currently, or 5 years from now --also are guaranteed life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness. Yes...more than a blob of cells? I will side with 4th graders on this one - even they can tell life when they see it!
And... yes the Bible says so also! Seriously, think about it. it is those 2 months from being born, or 2 months from death that a socieity's love can really be discovered - beyond the words, policies and posters! And the partial birth stuff... that is just.... just... barbaric (like Germany AD 120 type barbaric)

Enjoy this article posted by Creators Syndicate, Inc.
==================================
The Catholic Case against Barack Obama (by Patrick Buchanan)

In the Pennsylvania primary, Barack Obama rolled up more than 90 percent of the African-American vote. Among Catholics, he lost by 40 points. The cool liberal Harvard Law grad was not a good fit for the socially conservative ethnics of Altoona, Aliquippa and Johnstown.
But if Barack had a problem with Catholics then, he has a far higher hurdle to surmount in the fall, with those millions of Catholics who still take their faith and moral code seriously.

For not only is Barack the most pro-abortion member of the Senate, with his straight A+ report card from the National Abortion Rights Action League and Planned Parenthood. He supports the late-term procedure known as partial-birth abortion, where the baby's skull is stabbed with scissors in the birth canal and the brains are sucked out to end its life swiftly and ease passage of the corpse into the pan.
Partial-birth abortion, said the late Sen. Pat Moynihan, "comes as close to infanticide as anything I have seen in our judiciary."

Yet, when Congress was voting to ban this terrible form of death for a mature fetus, Michelle Obama was signing fundraising letters pledging that, if elected, Barack would be "tireless" in keeping legal this "legitimate medical procedure."
And Barack did not let the militants down. When the Supreme Court upheld the congressional ban on this barbaric procedure, Barack denounced the court for denying "equal rights for women."

As David Freddoso reports in his new best-seller, "The Case Against Barack Obama," the Illinois senator goes further than any U.S. senator has dared go in defending what John Paul II called the "culture of death."
Thrice in the Illinois legislature, Obama helped block a bill that was designed solely to protect the life of infants already born, and outside the womb, who had miraculously survived the attempt to kill them during an abortion. Thrice, Obama voted to let doctors and nurses allow these tiny human beings die of neglect and be tossed out with the medical waste.

How can a man who purports to be a Christian justify this?
If, as its advocates contend, abortion has to remain legal to protect the life and health, mental and physical, of the mother, how is a mother's life or health in the least threatened by a baby no longer inside her -- but lying on a table or in a pan fighting for life and breath?
How is it essential for the life or health of a woman that her baby, who somehow survived the horrible ordeal of abortion, be left to die or put to death? Yet, that is what Obama voted for, thrice, in the Illinois Senate.
When a bill almost identical to the one Barack fought in Illinois, the Born Alive Infants Protection Act, came to the floor of the U.S. Senate in 2001, the vote was 98 to 0 in favor. Barbara Boxer, the most pro-abortion member of the Senate before Barack came, spoke out on its behalf:
"Of course, we believe everyone should deserve the protection of this bill. ... Who could be more vulnerable than a newborn baby? So, of course, we agree with that. ... We join with an 'aye' vote on this. I hope it will, in fact, be unanimous."

Obama says he opposed the Born Alive Infants Protection Act because he feared it might imperil Roe v. Wade. But if Roe v. Wade did allow infanticide or murder, which is what letting a tiny baby die of neglect or killing it outright amounts to, why would he not want that court decision reviewed and amended to outlaw infanticide?
Is the right to an abortion so sacrosanct to Obama that killing by neglect or snuffing out of the life of tiny babies outside the womb must be protected if necessary to preserve that right?

Obama is an abortion absolutist. "I could find no instance in his entire career," writes Freddoso, "in which he voted for any regulation or restriction on the practice of abortion."
In 2007, Barack pledged that, in his first act as president, he will sign the Freedom of Choice Act, which would cancel every federal, state or local regulation or restriction on abortion. The National Organization for Women says it would abolish all restrictions on government funding of abortion.
What we once called God's Country would become the nation on earth most zealously committed to an unrestricted right of abortion from conception to birth.

Before any devout Catholic, Evangelical Christian or Orthodox Jew votes for Obama, he or she might spend 15 minutes in Chapter 10 of Freddoso's "Case Against Barack." For if, as Catholics believe, abortion is the killing of an unborn child, and participation in an abortion entails automatic excommunication, how can a good Catholic support a candidate who will appoint justices to make Roe v. Wade eternal and eliminate all restrictions on a practice Catholics legislators have fought for three decades to curtail?
And which Catholic priests and prelates will it be who give invocations at Obama rallies, even as Mother Church fights to save the lives of unborn children whom Obama believes have no right to life and no rights at all?
==========================

I would tell a person to vote on just one issue. that's because I don't beleive it is that simple. BUT I will tell people that it is okay to disqualify a person because of their policies, statementes, record, etc... (like their views on a particular issue)... i find only good reason behind this approach!
Many of you know that I am a pro-life-federalist- libertarian on just about every issue... a bet that I wasn't going to vote for obama in 08 would have been good money spent anyway. But with the "I have a dream... and it is me... speech in Germany and now this commitment that his FIRST act would be to abolish the will of the people in many of THESE united states and impose his "radical" views on life (not on abortion... no, his votes help us to understand how he feels about getting "punished... with a baby" -- or so he's said).

Okay let me have it if you want.
That is my stance.
I am tossed up leaning more towards Bob Barr than McCain.... we'll see if I go from voting for a libertarian candidate, or to vote McCain to negate another's vote for Obama.

anywhoo.

8.8.08 = 15

2008-08-08T09:42:00.003-04:00

Many people are all a-buzz concerning the official opening ceremonies of the Beijing Olympiad tonight. And it is a big deal. But to me it represents the "Minnesota niceness" of the world. I firmly believe that the all powerful bottom line in this world is more about resources, material, wealth, economic freedom. There is where differences are truly ignored and a common pursuit is shared - the pursuit of happiness.
Two countries maybe on each others nerves but usually they trade items together and the concerns to the economy often outweigh their prejudices. In some ways the Olympics are a shadow of the average person in each country that doesn't really care much about the over-arching geo-political forces, or travesties, of another country.
If I am swimming the 100 meter free-style and the swimmer next to me is from Sudan (country who has currently killed over a million and displaced over 4 million refugees - tribal, Christian, ethnic cleansing) - that person wants to beat their opponent - instead of refusing to swim against a person representing the horror of Darfur. Or if America sold your country weapons in the 80's and now those same weapons are causing death and tribal squabbling in your country... will you pull out of the race? Cause Micheal Phelps is representing America?
So, I am a fan of the Olympics, don't get me wrong -- but to see them as the answer to reconciliation is just not correct. They are a cleaner form of competition, of willful ignorance, of speeches and feelings against the world (possibly China, regularly a top 10 person on Amnesties list of worst human rights violators). I prefer the less clean, less pomp version of world markets and free & fair trade.

there is great 8.8.08 that I celebrate today.

Today is the 15th anniversary of my baptism in the name of the "Father, Son & Holy Spirit". I became a Christian 15 years ago - TRUE reconciliation. However I played my first year more like an Olympics with Jesus. I did my thing, he did his, we didn't talk much - and so I had the real thing, I was covered by his blood for my sins = no guilt, but I wasn't really engaged with the Bible, with our church, with prayer and service to mankind.
I had real reconciliation, peace, with God. But I acted like we were neighboring countries in need of just ignoring each other.
So, Today also marks 14 years since I got fed up with playing Christianity (don't they say your first year is always the hardest, worst?). I decided in 1994 that I was going to just read Mark chapter 6 (for example) - study it, ask questions, seek advice, commentaries -- find the meaning... and DO IT. And it has been a better way. 1 year trying to have it on my terms was like being married and having a date each week - but never really talking to each other. the last 14 years of daily readings, talking, thinking, praising, serving.. of "loving God and Others" ... beats the pants off the "false Olympic facade" that I had erected around the simplicity of childlike faith and mature conviction with Jesus Christ.

And so, i don't have time to walk through the last 15 years.. but I anticipate living at least another year, and seeing a large day in my life. When I am 32 next august, and I will have lived 16 years without Jesus and 16 years with him... I will have something more to say about each experience.
What I can praise God for today is the memory of a son, a brother, a friend that was not really nice, he was a good kid on the outside, didn't rebel for the sake of rebelling, but was a real jerk, hated much of life, saw injustice without hope, atrocity without rescue, sickness without the remedy.
Then he decided to spend a year looking into the answer that everyone else had told him they had found. Jesus. And he found the hope, rescue and remedy that he hated not knowing about. I am glad that that confused, inwardly depressed, outwardly sarcastic and painful 16 year old has been buried with Christ and a new person, a new Spirit, has come to reside in him for the last 15 years.
I am ever impressed that God would know my name, impressed more that he would even think of me, impressed more that he would have emotional feelings about me, impressed more that he cares for my future and personal happiness, impressed even more that he would die to bring peace between us - instead of some religious "Olympic" form of piety, prayer and sacrifice.

God is not as far away as we make him. However, he IS greater, more powerful, bigger, holier and more loving than we usually make him. I am grateful for my grandfather and grandmothers, my parents, friends and my pastor and especially a young preacher at camp name John Taplin who spoke to my heart 2 years in a row at Christian Harbor Youth Camp in Holcombe, WI.

Many go through life knowing that God is near, here, not far away. However their version of God, usually what they have heard and not studied - is a piece-meal of sermons, opinions, lectures, articles and "gut" feelings. And so they live with a CLOSE God who is their version of greatness, their version of powerful, their version of big, holy, love....
And they don't care for that god at all - a different god than the one of the Bible... and yet they have "Jesus" on this gods description. A mental idol (representation) that is not correct.
It is funny how that "god" seems to fit our mental puzzle for what he must be like... but then practically that "god's" puzzle piece doesn't line up with life. doesn't fit the way we thought.

And that is when we must make the decision: our terms, or Jesus' terms? I have found that the Bible challenges my mental "puzzle piece" more than I would like. BUT when I actually get it, try to live it out, it is funny how the puzzle piece that God describes himself as -- it actually fits with life!
And so, we can watch billions of dollars of investment, parade and pomp. however, you will not see the two children: one from North Korea, one child from South Korea -- that happen to find themselves among other children at a park jungle gym. And after several minutes they are laughing, dreaming up heroic scenes together, banishing the dragons, the evil sorcerers, and the demon's from their new little world. And somewhere there... in that little park. That $5,000 investment of some play area and grass.
The true look of reconciliation, forgiveness, of "life together" again is seen. Spend your billions on your "religiosity" of peace, reconciliation - all the while prostituting your Olympic team for politics and self-centered agendas. I will take the the simple faith of children, as they play. And water that seed with conviction, principle and passion. There is hope, rescue and remedy in that small little green park with two kids playing.

And if you think that your approach but be anything but child-like to accepting the gift of Jesus... you are like a 15 year old Josh Paroubek. and I hope you meet the 16 year old Josh Paroubek who grew "younger" in his need to approach his loving Father over a year - and "older" in his conviction, principle and passion.
It is a great paradox that I stepped through in childlike "faith" (pistis in Greek can also be translated as: trust, belief, giving your well being/future over to ______ ). That point in a 16 year old's life, that day, that hour, that moment when GOD was nearer than I expected him to be -- and more great, more powerful, bigger, holier and more loving than I had painted him out to be.

Oh for the Glory of the day
The day I took my Saviors painting away,
For the painting was painted by me through ignorance,
and replace by His self portriat offering a second chance.

I hope those who have found the hope, rescue and remedy of Christ can celebrate with me today.
I hope also that those who have not found Christ, but are interested, would seek to grow younger and older this year in relation to God in Christ.

May the name of Jesus be praised, raised and honored - now and forever more
(in this body of mine)

blurry.

2008-08-03T00:02:00.001-04:00

after 10 hours of writing and filling out online applications...
i am glad i only have to do this once every so often...

whew!
time for the bed....

sleep run over my like a sweet river of death [some reading this will get it... some will just be disturbed]

(happy sunday ya'll)

road.

2008-07-31T07:55:00.001-04:00

somehow we extended our trip again for a week. but it is time to get to the work of it all. we are headed back today (thursday) to Indy to pick up where we left and get started with our new life. after a good couple of weeks of helping a friend and resting, it is good to be leaving - and hard.

pray for us.

smallies.

2008-07-24T16:37:00.003-04:00

so... today... zumbro river... small mouth bass... some large mouth also... a couple pike... and two teens who each caught every tree in the river!

good times.

good eats tonight with some salad and fresh corn!

fishing.

2008-07-23T17:22:00.003-04:00

there are few things in this world that i enjoy as much as a good day of fishing. today i was able to hang out with 2 teens and Ike Karow... good times. We are going out on the Zumbro River tommorrow... then we are making a long voyage to Indy and the Cinty (Cincinnati) for a wedding on Saturday. whew!

(the pic is from camp two weeks back, but you get the idea...)

Then its off for new jobs on Monday for the Fall -- we are seriously considering a trip to India this December and January. So, we are praying for that... (you can too!)

Our goal is to have the commitments from friends, family and a few churches to be able to work part-time (wed-fri) each week for the Mission when we return in February... Then annually we would make a 3 week to 8 week trip to India during the holidays and after to assess current trends, strategies, goals, projects and get more interview/picture (etc) footage to help toss together a "STATE of the MISSION" report (multimedia report) for those supporting the mission and to createa 2009 (for example) report of the goals for the year, etc, and this would help in raising more capital for investors in the missions future.....

If we can work a 10 hour day together WED/TH/FRI and then travel on weekends for meetings and such it would help tremendously...(i suppose we maybe traveling for presentations on wednesdays also.... This way we can work MON/TUES each week to help pay off our debts and stay floating in other stuff.. This fall I think we may just get a couple full time jobs... we will see. Something to talk about on the way home!

thanks for keeping up with us.

cancelled.

2008-07-21T10:17:00.002-04:00

Due to the "Norwalk Virus" our plans this week have changed. (plan B). So NE Iowa Service Camp is not an option this week.

We have been able to connect with many friends in rochester during these days, and will continue to this week. Until we return back home to Indy to get a couple jobs and get cracking. Matthew Naumann, a good friend of ours, has been gracious enough to open up his "Spar Oom" for us.

Thanks for your prayers.....

yep. 'nuff said!

2008-07-16T13:03:00.003-04:00

relax.

2008-07-14T07:57:00.003-04:00

this weekend we spent our time relaxing and connecting and thanking our very special friends, ed and charlotte hudgins, in eau claire. it is good to be back to visit. some downtime with my parents and friends from rochester will be appreciated this week as well.

we are preparing for service camp this week. and we are keeping up with ideas, conversations and communication with people up here who care to know. we don't know exactly the road ahead... or the details of our new ministry with BSSI. but the darkness of this road is lifting as the dawn is coming. we are beginnig to make our the color and the shape. and we are looking forward to the noon day sun and a fully realized position, agenda, calling and role in this small miniscule mission in india... yet important to soooo many who struggle as victims of HIV/AIDS, TB and Leprosy.

thank you to all who keep up with us. remember us. pray for us.

GO!

2008-07-13T00:45:00.003-04:00

We began working officially for BSSI this week as we represented the mission to Pine Haven Christian Assembly's 7-8 zoneB camp. I also got to go fishing for 10+ hours... long overdew.

anyway. here is my favorite band to listen to on the road (which we are spending alot of time on these days).

This week we are meeting with people and letting them know where we are at spiritually, relationally, and a little more of the direction we are thinking we maybe headed.

prayers are always useful... and always gratefully recieved.

thanks.

next week is SERVICE camp in NE Iowa. 7-8th graders once again... (theme anyone?)

claire.

2008-07-05T13:20:00.002-04:00

we love our new dog. each day is fun as she is becoming less scared and scarred from her past.

since we are traveling alot this month.

here is something to get you all by.

dial up.

2008-07-03T11:43:00.001-04:00

we are up in lapel and have dial up speed.
since we are traveling during July... no need to upgrade quite yet.

so...
don't plan to hear much from me till then...(unless i post stuff at camp)

JOSH

final.

2008-06-21T17:52:00.001-04:00

we begin our final week here in Eau Claire...

it has been good rest. i haven't read the books i wanted to. or taking the walks i wanted to. or even fished like i wanted to.

but i am rested now... and restless... i am ready for the road ahead.

we have no clue about the vision God will show us in the coming 3 months. but we feel that we are ready to begin again...
to "dream again" as it were.

Eco-pcrisy. (eco hypocrisy)

2008-06-19T05:41:00.009-04:00

There is a new "class system" emerging in the politically correct world that disturbs me. It is those who feel they must ordain themselves "elders" of the evironment, humanity, etc. From there resources and potitions they speak a great game (with 1/2 logic, 1/2 fear mongering) and yet they feel that their "efforts" for the environment (climate change, non-fossil fuels, conservation, etc) give them a pass on actually doing their talk. That is the hard part in life -- integrity. Example... telling others to conserve when you don't "carpool" in your private jets to the Emmys.

With all the talk about Tim Russerts death recently on the news channels, I will say this -- he was stand up. Plain and simple. Good and faithful Catholic, son, husband, father, citizen. The amount of money that he wrote checks for, speeches given for free to help NGO's is staggering. But you never hear the quiet "salt" of the earth bragging about their job... they are busy doing the preserving, making the world taste good, keeping the world from rotting (the nature of salt in Jesus' day).

And then we come to the great icon, the modern prophet of the environment: Al Gore. With thousands upon thousands of "Green Renovation" dollars spent on his pad in Tennessee (the ideal farm i guess) he actually spent 10% more on energy than he did on his house last year. Which is no big deal because of the new "Enviro-class system" that is developing. Maybe Obama is correct... there are those who are the "have's and have nots". Al Gore "HAS" the money to offset his "carbon footprint" because he is part owner of a factory that could work at full capacity, but doesn't (therefore earning EXTRA carbon credits that... yep... Al Gore then purchases from his own factory). Does something sound fishy here? Isn't this like a "tax shelter" of the new tax of carbon credits. And so our world is shifting from those who can polute, i am sorry -- those who can AFFORD to pollute. And a world of those who cannot afford to pollute CO2 (which is what we breath OUT right? i mean... right?).

MACRO #1
And now the MACRO situation. The US economy will suffer greatly from this stupid idea of CO2 being a "pollution gas" and, therefore, we must tax it. I mean, beyond your "allowed" CO2 credit -- and 535 people on capital hill can figure that out?

I am a conservationist at heart. As a avid sportsmand and student who grew up learning the history of the Northern Plains I know how stupid the fur trade was when it came in here... killing off the wolves expecially, the buffalo, and logging...etc. BUT the point is we have progressed in this area. Yes some environmental groups helped raise the consciousness... the the plain fact is this --> the issac walton league was busy purchasing land to build cabins on while private hunting leagues (the "unlimmitted movements) were actually purchasing schemes to buy back land, breed, stock, lobby for birds, wildgame and other animal for sport hunting. And now they are thriving... (thriving like the caribou that are 4 times greater since drillingn in alaska... and the polar bear which are 3 times greater thatn 1970 in population).

I take the command from God to steward this world seriously (cause 2 acres of land in the country IS more beautiful that the tallest of sky-scrapers... but they are not opposed to each other, or enemies!!!).

That being said... let's burn coal, oil, etc. Lets keep doing it. Let's get this economy going on overdrive. It is very possible to get this economy growing at 5-8% if we cut so many taxes on the supply side and tax the purchasing (consumption) side. It is pretty simple... a steaming locomotive as an economy will provide us with the private capital, and government capital to build the future of energy (How about 3 new Nuclear plants for each state, better cars, cleaner cole...). Are we willing to take the tough road?

Would you take a 3 week break if it would help your marraige... or woudl you span that "healing" over a 9 month period when you can afford the time? That is the basic question - are you willing to unleash the engine of america in order to afford a dramatic shift in energy philosophy? If we keep this up for 10-15 more years.. if it means a market based approach to getting our "carbon" gas cut by 50% or greater.... are you willing to put up with it?

MACRO#2
What are we saying to my beloved India? We built our country up after WWI and WWII (that really didn't touch our land) while the rest of the world was in chaos and rebuilding... free of "carbon tax" (freedom, a concept huh?).

BUT hey... we are the country equivilent of "Al Gore" cause we can afford to buy back our "carbon excesses". (oh don't ever explain that we are 25-30% of the worlds economy and produce, 15-20% of the pollution, using 40% of the resources... all in all we are polluting less than we are producing!!! and the world is better for this, really! If nothing else.. look at the 50 billion that we give around the world each year to help those less fortunate outside the USA - and that is giving NOT by our gov't.)

It is unfair--i say. It is NOT a position of service or "loving your neighbor(nation) as yourself". We are not showing love for India by this stance. Couldn't we allow India to unleash their economy also (actually they are) and use that momentum for education, market based products, that give upward moving indian households more rupees in their pockets? Isn't that the solution? Get this car = and extra 3,000 rupees a month in your pocket? ($75 US)? Pay $20K rupees a year ($500 US) in order to have a Nuclear power plant that provides energy for your house, and provides cheap energy for businesses in your community driving down the cost of all products in the local market? Allow clean cole technology to be used to help build new products, but also to help build incenerators that burn local trash (and you actually get paid by the pound -- or "credited" as your garbage becomes fuel for your local cities government buildings -- ie. Rochester Minnesota's model)?

It's not fair for us to look at India, China, Africa, South Asian Islands, and new Middle Eastern countries wishing to build, transition, etc... and say "We have already gone down this road and we made it messy... you will too because you are even less responsibly and educated than us (egos?) and therefore we "as the self appointed commander of the world" will not allow you to develop either".

There will be no money HERE in the USA for NGO's, Churches, Businesses and even the Government to invest in our country and other countries.... and there will be no money for THOSE countries in the world that can actually do it "better" (whether it is industry, service, technology, food) for the world wide market. Free markets...they actually work!

THE EASY SOLUTION?
Cut business taxes, stop punishing savings and investing into the USA and the world... open up the markets to large amounts of money... and call it the "Organic Tax" (everyone loves that word now... ). Can you imagine? an "Organic Tax" that actually lesses the cost of something? Let's Slap the word "ORGANIC" on all nuclear power plants and they will become popular again!

THE HARD SOLUTION?
Educating yourself, having conversations over coffee, and doing what you can, supporting those companies, NGO's, Churches, Countries, Companies, and politicians that are for a better world, but don't believe it comes at the expense of the family budget and the developing nations of the world economies! Millions of people in India are depending on this over the next 50 years.... Millions of houses in America need a break and would LOVE to invest into the world. And, to be frank, 30 million households in America with the education to invest in the markets of ideas, philosophy, business, NGO's will do way better than the 435 house reps, 100 senators and 1 president in Washington. Not a "anti-government" rant... just the facts... the market chooses better, cheaper, faster than regulations, power and centralized "planning".

okay... thanks for reading.

g-bye.

2008-06-12T16:09:00.002-04:00

hopefully i will be saying goodbye to a loved friend this week.

she has been good to me, my grandpa's ol'truck.

hopefullly a young 16 year old, or a college kid will want her.

[[if you do... you can email me.. joshparoubek@juno.com ]]

puggle.

2008-06-12T01:21:00.002-04:00

if things go as planned i think we will have a 5 year old puggle this week.

a stray picked up by the chippewa county humane society.

her name is "mandy" but we are going with "old claire paroubek" in honor of "eau claire" and these special 6 weeks of our life. good memories and rest.

money.

2008-06-06T16:41:00.001-04:00

when you think about it...
money is such a strange concept...
credit is a little stranger...

just waxin'

noise.

2008-06-02T18:22:00.002-04:00

as it happens,
today... is a good day to stop and listen to the silence of "work" in my life, and the "symphony" of thoughts and ideas that i have.

weary for lack of focus.
lord, calm the symphony... as beautiful as it is.

sanctuary hum.

2008-06-01T09:21:00.002-04:00

let me just say that PROJECT 86 gave probably the best concert (110 min) at Club 3 that I have ever witnessed last night.

gas = $18
frappicino = $2
T-shirt = $15
ticket = $15
parking = $4

riding with ED for 2.5 hours in a car, and spending 2. 5 hours watching "Claret" " Destnd Furthr" and "P 86" ....

yep!

results.

2008-05-30T13:00:00.002-04:00

i have been reading through the book of acts lately(in the bible).

i have a new soap box.

"mars hill" " acts 17 churches" "engagement church movements" etc. i am certainly not against engaging a culture on all levels. going TO people before they come TO you as it were. engageing the post modern mind...etc.

"the mars hill experience" as one may say (the emergent movement is in someways a posterboy for this). i think there are a few "perceived" home runs (mars hill church, nooma, mcclaren, etc) in the movement... and many church planters are excited (sometimes drinking the coolaid - no more that "piper-ites" in mnpls). however... check this out.

===================================

acts 17

32 Now when they heard of the resurrection of the dead, some mocked. But others said, “We will hear you again about this.” 33 So Paul went out from their midst. 34 But some men joined him and believed, among whom also were Dionysius the Areopagite and a woman named Damaris and others with them.

===================================

did you see the church planted there? did you catch that church meeting at "________'s" house, the baptisms, the times paul stayed to teach and instruct the beleievers, the elders he appointed.... oh... did you miss that?

so then there is paul in corinth. haveing not had any REAL fruit from his visit to mars hill (actually that whole city)... unlike the good response from berea just verses earlier... he is poor, in need, and has to work a full time job (part time maybe living with two friends) as he continues ministry.. waiting for his friends to come (from the poor church in philippi) to bring ANOTHER offering. ( this my friends is one of the most amazing stories in all of the N.T. and sheds sooooo much light in the letter to the church at phillipi)

you see,

paul's M.O. was to have each church SEND him to the next... with a few months worth of money (or maybe a years worth.. we can only speculate).

the point? advancement depended on success at the last location (whether 2 months or two years at the "last" location).

and there was LITTLE success in athens... some... and, again, i would not recommend "NOT engaging the 'athens' of our current time" or any enclosed argument...

but i wonder if paul would say we are wasting our limitted resources on the wrong things..

why didn't paul set up and work a part time/full time job in athens? when did he push off?

luke doesn't explain all of these things... however i have noticed, after beingn a christian for 15 years and reading this book over 100 times now... something NEW!

this is my soapbox then currently.

why are we spending time on things that are "interesting" but not "producing" alot of fruit?

i fear that my intent to "understand youth culture" over the last 2 years was indeed spending 50% of my time in the wrong avenues, with the wrong kids/locations (actually), and not looking for the fruit ready for the picking, if that makes sense (what could have been established to carry on the work).

much of the growth of the resoration movement in the first 50 years was due to the expanse of a nation and people interested in spirituality but not loyal to their "denominations". sound familiar with today's spiritual climate.

i wonder if we can learn something here also. is the "simply christian" message a TRIPLE call to the "pagan" (far away from christ) and also to the "god fearer" those searching... and the "attendeer" or compared to a Jew ready for a messiah and finally learning that message... (ie: wanting a simpler church , a biblical one, and finally seeing the new testament mandates, suggestions, and evidences.... ).

question: is the academic and practical ministries world spending extra time in "athens" when paul would have moved on by now?

question: would early christian's in the first 2 centuries reference "mars hill" "acts 17" as much as we would? wasn't this story more damning of athens.... "woe to you athens..." and not luke suggesting "hey christians - check out this "way to do THE WAY" as he does earlier in the book of acts. i wonder if this was a "byword" for early christians.... "remembers athens" ... etc...

okay folks... several hundred words...

think for a while...

then get back to me. ( theparoubeks@juno.com )

Y.

2008-05-29T17:06:00.003-04:00

so,
kathryn and i joined the family "y" of eau claire today for a month. they were willing to loosing the rules a little because of our circumstance. and why not, an easy $60 i say from us. and now we need to at least visit the why 10 times in the next 30 days to make it matter. however, i think now we will have a good exercise schedule for the remaining time here. and now that i have a goal to get down to a certain weight by the end of summer (or at least re-shaping my ... uh... current shape) this should be a good kick in the pants.

we are very glad to have a couple here (ed and charlotte) that are willing to allow us to ride their back for a month in order to relax, work out, spend time together, etc. RE-fuel. that is the word that seems to keep coming up.

though it is probably water weight. i am still glad that i have shed 6.3 pounds this last week. that's 2.75% of my body weight in one week. perhaps i will go for 5% this week... that would be 12.5 lbs. i think i usually push down about 25 lbs in a month and then plateau for a while. hopefully, as i start "power 90" in 6 weeks - i will have enough muscle confusion to keep the rate of decay... i mean... weight loss continuing. better health, better heath care costs, and a better outlook.

the right fuel going in (and limitted), the right fuel being used, and good rest (mentally, physically, etc) and we should be in business.

interest.

2008-05-26T04:15:00.001-04:00

18 years old? invest 10K in a mutual fund.
average 10% growth over the long term.
retire at 68 (that is 10K for 50 years, not adding a dime).

retire with... $1,250,000.00

that is amazing!

birth.

2008-05-23T21:24:00.002-04:00

slept in.
eggs and homemade hashbrowns.
haircut.
indiana jones.
park/petting zoo.
brewery tour.
meal overlooking a lake.
walmart.
myspace (my project86 fix)
movie.
massage.

happy birthday me!

settle.

2008-05-20T13:24:00.002-04:00

today marks the end of our $300 (gas) midwest tour of friendship.

seeing friends, spending time together, games, fishing, movies, conversations, youth groups, laughter and sadness... it has been a good time for us to remind ourselves how blessed we are with friends around the tri-state up here.

so we settle down into eau claire for about 6 weeks... occasionally traveling...

mostly working on life, marriage and preparing for the road ahead.

it will be a blessing to spend this time with some great friends...

and to be of any help during their current rough/sad time of a parent's passing.

drill.

2008-05-12T17:19:00.003-04:00

while we are building more nuclear.
while we are trying to bring solar and wind down to a good "collective" price.
while we are awaiting hydrogen cars...

let's drill.
check out the wonderful "Washington answers" to our oil...

we could get 90% (more if we go after the tar sands of Colorado, Montana and Canada)

and we wouldn't be supporting dictators...etc.

i am just so frustrated that the economy that represents 25% of the whole worlds GDP and over 35% of the worlds investments) is yelled at for creating 15-18% of the worlds pollution (can't you at least give us the grace to push out 25% of the worlds pollution is that is the role we play in the
total economy)

... really.

ah... why are we taking a whole day in congress to talk about state issues and not national ones!??!?!

sojourn.

2008-05-07T04:03:00.002-04:00

and so begins a 10 long visit to friends houses, fishing, movies, cleaning, eating, laughing and probably many tears.

today we arrived at apple valley to visit friends, pray for those in Ecuadore, catch up on life in h.s. and college, play some wii... and catchup on the elections tonight.

and it is late... and what am i having a hard time turning off? this new burden to help BSSI raise funds so that the David and Lois Rees Hospital can keep functioning through this century... however, to then allow new money and people and talent and dreams to expand the work of BSSI/LIAT india... and to partner with more...etc.

it all seems so large... and weird to me... so why is it consuming me, and shaping me...

is this what it feels like for the Holy Spirit to shape you through circumstances also?

moving...

2008-04-28T11:59:00.002-04:00

i was reminded yesterday in church about the necessity to remember we are citizens in the kingdom of our God and Lord and Savior no matter were we end up.

it also reminded me that we maybe limited in conversations, ministry, sight and touch... but, as we leave A.V. and especially VCC we are still "members" abroad.

dave mentioned that a "colony" represented the roman empire, citizenship, and if anything bad happened, any emergencies were needed... you could call up rome and they would come to rescue.

so as i stood at the back of VCC and wrote our a prayer request for the prayer team/email list... i knew that no matter were we may be... we can always communicate back to our "rome" for help... spiritual, emotional, and probably physically also in the coming months/years.

not to the exclusion of other churches... but valley is a special church for us... and we hope that we are (were) special to valley also. it's good to know that you have a spiritual kingdom to call upon... and it is good to know that part of this kingdom is a physical one that is symbolically "VCC" (valley christian church)... to us.

so, it becomes important to us to cling to this relationship... i am sure that we will find a couple churches to "regularly attend"... but i am not sure when the moment will come to transfer a real membership (commitment to serve and be around) to any churches....

seeing that our "roles" in the kingdom are a'changin...

i am glad we have a "name" and can represent Jesus and also Valley wherever we find ourselves.

...

yep.

sale.

2008-04-21T01:42:00.002-04:00

nothing like a moving/rummage sale to put some of life in perspective.

i came across a project that i never finished during theprocess of packing stuff up today.
and pulled it from the "for sale" pile.

and it reminded me of a promise that i did not fulfill of camping several more times with the mrs. over the last two years (never visiting duluth, never walking in the headwaters of the mississippi, never trekking the black hills, never trout fishing in chatfield...etc).

so... symbolically i will take that old project and finish it... and make plans to go camping more.

=========
the moving sale was okay... the two big items (car and stereo) did not sell... but we have the gas money for our voyage to indiana.

that is a good thing.

pain.

2008-04-17T07:42:00.002-04:00

today i was inspired. by "power90X" a new program... 90 days to a fitter, better you.
my brother in law may have his copy from last summer. so i figured... "what the heck, how about a mile run, and then walk back..."

that was an hour ago. a 10 minute mile... and a 40 minute walk back... and a HOT 15 minute shower. i am an idiot. i think i may be in the worse shape in my life--no kidding. it kinda serves as a good analogy of my spiritual and emotional (and also mental) life as well. i was doing some great exercise... and plateaued (after marriage, and seminary, and then india, and 2 years at valley). many can explain away differences as growth. i fell into that lie also. the muscle that was in my biceps and triceps is 1/2 of what it was 8 years ago... but it only seems 10% less (or so i tell myself that).. i will make friends along the way of course (i tell myself).... i am studying for worship on sundays and wednesday nights so i am in the word... i will start exercising after a senior minister arrives... and so the justification, ignorance, listlessness and dead man of old rear up again....

boy was i in pain today. i don't know if i have a pinched nerve or if it was a back spams (note: not spasms plural, but one solid, rock hard, spasm for 30 minutes). i was so close to just hitchin' it for 1/2 mile home... and for some reason i was listening to the "firside" songs on my iPOD. "we are not of those who shrink back and are destroyed" "I press on.." etc. as if i needed a reminder of stupidity and that is isolates us to were the Lord cares the most for us, and chuckles at us, and comforts us, and (in reality) DOESN'T stop the spam(s). doesn't stop the pain. doesn't water down the shame...

... but also doesn't leave either. i knew he was there, with me, and that the Holy Spirit was gettin his fill of "groans" that words cannot describe in order to intercess with.

there are many reasons for this change in our life... but there is a shame also. a shame of puting myself out there, squeezing the most out of me. and not really making me a priority. how easily my "days away" during my first year became a dreaming day with looney, lunch with friends and catching up in the afternoon. how easily one can sleep in till 8pm, 9pm and come into work after a shower having not read for himself, written encouraging emails, prayers and sharing the morning with his life partners...

how easily we are emotionally, spiritually, physically and pyschologically unplugging ourselves to whatever "reality show" is in our path (weather TV, or a friends life, etc). instead of striving for more, we are content to watch the lives of others on TV with a bowl of pop corn in one hand and ice cream in the other.

so, no big fireworks. no declarations of war. i am in a low spot, not depressed, but empty and in need of refueling. and i find that i am as dependent on Jesus for this living water as i was for the water of renewal in the beginning. and i say, i believe lord... help me with my unbelief.

... oh the freedom to be able to say that to the maker of heaven and earth, and not cower in the corner in fear of his temper, his angst, his wrath. i think that honesty in the King's throne room only serves to underscore the confidence of one's relationship with the king.

it maybe painful, but he is still at my side, and calls me to his side, calls me by name.... i know of no other feeling as pure, sweet and innocent. freedom.

perhaps pain is the cobblestone road that leads to the rusty old cast iron gate of freedom. few are they that can walk with this pain.. few are they with the energy to swing open the gate...but what a smell, what perfect grass, what peaceful sounds...

.. what freedom.

...because

2008-04-10T12:42:00.002-04:00

i got to thinking today... which can be dangerous sometimes.

most of the greatest stories, greatest lives, greatest _____ (you fill it in) are wrapped up in pain, in sadness, in mistakes, in regrets. i am not sure if perfection means perfection. the BIBLE says we are to be perfect in many ways. one of those words actually means "complete" or "fully mature". i wonder if that is the perfect life one should strive for.

GOD doesn't wish for calamity on us, he doesn't force us to sin, he doesn't rejoice in divorce, addiction, buried anger, dishonest hearts... however, i wonder if he has a great amount of joy in taking a person from a ditch to 2nd in command of egypt? it would seem to me that GOD is wonderful in our obedience, and we are saved from so much pain. but, even when we are rebellious, or suffer from another's rebellion towards GOD -- i tend to see in scripture that GOD is a great FATHER and will rise to the occasion to make himself known and his name to be great through your life... in your life.

...in my life.

perhaps we would do better to remember the faithfulness, mighty hand and grace of our loving GOD and when we meet people in hurting circumstances -- we must first find the hope of 10 years down the road (what could happen, what GOD wishes to do for them) -- and then help them see that hope as well. it is a pitiful thing to ingore mistakes and "elephants" in the room at a funeral, it is a beautiful thing to recognize them and look past them... and see the hand of a mighty GOD who isn't afraid to get his hands dirty in the ashes of our mistakes and muddy in the dirt of our sins.

so, here is a "glory to GOD in the highest" from me today. i sure am glad that he is here. i sure am glad for hope. and i sure am glad for my wife to be here with me. if this is joy -- i'll take seconds!

warming

2008-03-31T21:55:00.002-04:00

is it wrong to pray for global warming when we are getting 3 inches the night before APRIL!!!! ??????

Can't we get along with just a 2-4 degree difference in the world?

i watched a wonderful documentary (from the "brits") today again.
"the great global warming swindle" (obviously brits from the word swindle).

recommended highly to those who read this post!

an "endginning"

2008-03-30T01:03:00.002-04:00

how does one describe the transition of goodbyes and hellos...

i am leaving a ministry near and dear to me today. one that has consumed me at times. one that has frustrated me at times. and one that has been a fuller, real, and great experience. i love valley christian church... i hate leaving it. but the timing is perfect to "END" or...

is it perfect for a new "BEGINNING"

as we have 3 months to slowly sift through life, to regain composure of self, to work on our marriage... to lose material we have latched onto, or gained (in the case of 30 lbs in 2 years... yuck!). but to begin the process of letting our hearts connect with our Lord again... and then with eachother... then to reconnect with friends... etc.... and finally to move to indiana...
to help kathryn's parent's mission (see "emrys and usha" on the links to the right)... and to find a new church family/fellowship.... part time labor work... but to focus on helping Benevolent Social Services of India (B.S.S.I) [[ or for you canadians Love in Action Trust of India -- L.I.A.T.]]. maybe the first step is a new name for a new era?

so we stand on a "endginning" an ending and a beginning at the same time.

progressively seeking a step of faith, a trust to shift all of your weight to that step... and then.. to step again.

Jesus hasn't failed me yet.... though i have him... hope beyond hope that i am not just a servant, but a friend.. and not just a friend but an adopted son of the CREATOR. one who doesn't slumber or sleep.
and now... i must retire...

it is 12:12 am... in 12 hours i will be eating at a "g-bye potluck" for us...
in 24 hours.... i will be ....

me.

mmmm...church

2008-03-27T10:21:00.001-04:00

okay...vent...

sometimes the churchianity instead of christianity really gets under my nerves...

okay... most times...

okay.... always.

Easter...

2008-03-23T09:44:00.002-04:00

Happy Resurrection Day everyone!
Hope your Sunday is blessed

1 Corinthians 15: 12-19 . . .

Now if Christ is proclaimed as raised from the dead,
how can some of you say that there is no resurrection of the dead?
But if there is no resurrection of the dead,
then not even Christ has been raised.
And if Christ has not been raised, then our preaching is in vain
and your faith is in vain.

We are even found to be misrepresenting God,
because we testified about God that he raised Christ,
whom he did not raise if it is true that the dead are not raised.

For if the dead are not raised,
not even Christ has been raised.

And if Christ has not been raised,
your faith is futile and you are still in your sins.

Then those also who have fallen asleep in Christ have perished.
If in Christ we have hope in this life only,
we are of all people most to be pitied.

were you there...

2008-03-21T19:26:00.003-04:00

Thank God for his unfairness today.

HOLINESS (being fair)
Jesus lived a perfect life ==> gets heaven
I(we) have failed ==> eternal separation from God (hell)

GRACE (being unfair)
Jesus gets what I deserve....
I get what Jesus deserves.

amazing love!

"...that's what grace is. grace costs the giver everything, so that it costs the receiver NOTHING." (Philip Yancey)

5000 year leap

2008-03-10T13:30:00.002-04:00

i am in the middle of reading a "patriotic" book on the constitution (and events surrounding it) and the 28 major values/ideals/principles (what have you) that the founders . i just read over the intention of the 10 amendment last night. it was a great chapter. i decided to print out a short form of the constitution as it now is to compare with the ideas that the founders presented.

the 10th amendment basically says, anything not expressed in the constitution is not the right of the government to legislate or to control--it becomes states rights. and the 9th amendment is close to it (to make sure that any new amendments do not hinder the first 8). the point? the founders wanted a very small, spread apart in powers, constantly changing (every 2,4,6 years) government so that the states had more rights, and that the states should follow the example so that the counties and towns do like wise.

i guess i would say it this way... example
founders wishes would be a tax system that is low and prioritized: 10% tax (5% to county/city, 3% state, 2% Washington).
currently we have something like this: 5% local, 5% state, 15% Washington.

i am learning quite a bit from the pens of our founders. for instance, America was set up to prevent a large welfare state. and now 33% of the budget for the D.C. government is a distribution of wealth for others (farmers, welfare, social security, unemployment)...

i am learning that senators were set up to advocate for the state. the legislators of the state and the representatives from the "house of reps" would sent 2 senators to Washington (not a vote till the 17th amendment) to keep Washington in check with state rights.

i am learning that the American my great great grandparents came here to live in was more like the government that the founders wanted. they warned against a system of full time politicians (career), a system where the free market would leave 25% of the population with 75% or more of the money... and to then allow the remaining 75% of the population to vote (pure democracy and not a representative government like we have).... to hire men (Washington) to professionally rob those who produce the most (help society the most) and distribute to those who cannot work as well, have more hurdles, or did not prepare/have insurance, etc.

anyhow. "The 5000 Year Leap" (recommended). gets a person thinking.

music.

2008-03-08T21:56:00.002-05:00

lately i have been listening to scott phillips quite a bit.

www.scott-phillips.com

underdog

2008-03-05T08:38:00.003-05:00

i am certainly not impressed at all with our current "big 3" picks for president. however, i am impressed that a 3% polling McCain in july ends up a nominee, and the 20 points down Clinton comes back last night to keep this thing going. if nothing else i hope this engages more than the 40% of america that usually votes and understands the power and the limits of d.c. i don't see how that could be bad.

angel eyes

2008-03-04T01:00:00.002-05:00

one of my favorite songs was written by Jeff Healey (of the Jeff Healey Band). he is centered on the pic. age 41, died of cancer.
he lived a life more full than the average man, for sure, but it would have been amazing to see his creativity grow into his 60's...

my thanks to Jeff for some great 7-8th grade dance memories...
"what did i do? what did i say? to turn your angel eyes my way?"

yesterday.

2008-03-03T11:20:00.002-05:00

Yesterday I officially resigned at VCC.

I have begun to realize, as I stood behind a curtain with Kathryn, that my life (while plagued with unfaithfulness, problems, pride and failures) is soo much more full because of my time with Valley. Many of the failures would have happened no matter where I served...

and what remains is the gold.
the kind of gold that is worth it all.
my life is better, fuller, greater because of our two years here.
i hope that we have blessed this church the same way.

mirror.

2008-02-15T01:44:00.001-05:00

sometimes it is the hardest thing to look at in the day.

maybe that is a red flag.

coffee.

2008-01-23T09:04:00.000-05:00

legal drugs are always the best.

today i have a free piece of advice.

when having a men's bible study at denny's at 6am. do not sit in the corner of the booth and drink 5 cups of coffee and two glasses of water. it makes it hard to concentrate during the closing prayer.

ah, sweet release!

enough.

2008-01-21T14:33:00.003-05:00

sometimes enough is enough.

repentance = death to an old way. why live in it any longer. be done with it. don't longer for it... what did you reap from that way of life? frustration,

"So then, brothers, we are debtors, not to the flesh, to live according to the flesh. For if you live according to the flesh you will die, but if by the Spirit you put to death the deeds of the body, you will live. For all who are led by the Spirit of God are sons of God. For you did not receive the spirit of slavery to fall back into fear, but you have received the Spirit of adoption as sons, by whom we cry, “Abba! Father!”
Romans 8:12-15

enough.

2008-01-21T14:33:00.002-05:00

sometimes enough is enough.

repentance = death to an old way. why live in it any longer. be done with it. don't long for it... what did you reap from that way of life? frustration, debt, sorry, depression, emptiness... it still may look tasty... but you have known the indigestion caused by the sweet honey of sin.

"So then, brothers, we are debtors, not to the flesh, to live according to the flesh. For if you live according to the flesh you will die, but if by the Spirit you put to death the deeds of the body, you will live. For all who are led by the Spirit of God are sons of God. For you did not receive the spirit of slavery to fall back into fear, but you have received the Spirit of adoption as sons, by whom we cry, “Abba! Father!”
Romans 8:12-15

fine.

2008-01-14T15:52:00.001-05:00

ever sick of it being just fine.

ever long for it to be good, pure, honorable, wonderful.

breathtaking.

this is a good motivation, longing and want. hard to think that GOD would not wish for us to strive, think, pray and run toward something better -- before he rewards our efforts.

"These all died in faith, not having received the things promised, but having seen them and greeted them from afar, and having acknowledged that they were strangers and exiles on the earth. For people who speak thus make it clear that they are seeking a homeland. If they had been thinking of that land from which they had gone out, they would have had opportunity to return. But as it is, they desire a better country, that is, a heavenly one. Therefore God is not ashamed to be called their God, for he has prepared for them a city."
Hebrews 11:13-16

care.

2008-01-06T22:02:00.000-05:00

i have found an enjoyment today spending time with kathryn and taking care of her, as she is sick. so many times we get so busy "living" together that we don't get to spend time together. perhaps sickness helps us remember and do this!

just a thought...

fair.

2008-01-04T14:03:00.000-05:00

this is an interesting site. i think i maybe sold on this idea...

not to mention the $500 billion dollars spent NOT in our current system. And the 50 billion spent by the IRS to organize and employ that also.

i have heard that every dollar in taxes is 3 x's less effective than if it was in the economy (ie: i give you a dollar for your service, you give that dollar to someone else, etc. etc. each time it is taxed).

also... it would seem that the extimated 10-15 trillion dollars that are currently out of our country (from our own citizens) and the 2-4 trillion extra (from other countries) could be re-invested into our economy - capital - loans - buildings - businesses...etc.

if that comes in... cause it wouldn't be taxed AT ALL on the interest.... i think our economy would rise and we could very well see 23% go to 20% or maybe even 15% within 20 years. it would also put pressure on state governments to jump in line and go to a consumption tax...

30% for every new item... and no other taxes at all!

anyway with the "huckabee" phenomenon in iowa i though i would check out his site, and it led me to
www.fairtax.org

inetresting...

resolute.

2008-01-03T16:20:00.001-05:00

just wondering if anyone else's new years resolution was to not have one?

irony.

2007-12-24T18:02:00.000-05:00

top 3 ironies (scandals?) this christmas...

#3
Town Halls allowing "nativity scenes" (celebrating the birth of Jesus, uh... CHRIST-mas) but only allowing a manger, and animals (no mary, no joseph, no shepherds, no JESUS!)

#2
neil diamond (a practicing Jew) singing Christian Christmas songs (glorifying... uh.. JESUS!)

#1
the message that the Creator of all, the God of heaven and earth, has come to visit earth, to save earth, and comes in the form of a dependent little child, born of poor parents, in a small town, in a manger out back, and his first visitors are societies lowly rejects from "the norm".

"And the Word became flesh and dwelt among us, and we have seen his glory, glory as of the only Son from the Father, full of grace and truth... And from his fullness we have all received, grace upon grace. For the law was given through Moses; grace and truth came through Jesus Christ. No one has ever seen God; the only God, who is at the Father's side, he has made him known."
Gospel of John 1:14, 16-18.

Eve-eve.

2007-12-24T00:45:00.000-05:00

it's Christmas eve-eve.

i am wondering... what is different from tonight... more than tomorrow?
and why can't we start giving away presents on December 28th (after they are REALLY on sale, or returned?)...

i hope everyone has a merry little christmas eve-eve.
and december 28th also!

Death.

2007-12-19T12:31:00.000-05:00

i have a friend who recently lost his father.
what do i have to say about this... anything can happen at any week.
do the people you care the most... know it?

maybe the most significant gift of this season is a baby in a manger...
a baby screaming, crying.... a God from the heavens screaming through this baby,
"I LOVE YOU, I LOVE YOU, I LOVE YOU... I WILL DO EVERYTHING FOR YOU!"

maybe we should take this example and take time to write, text, call, stop by...
and to say " i love you. i would do anything for you."

that may cost you more than a $10 gift certificate...
and i guarantee that kind of gift won't be forgotten this time next year.

perhaps you will cause people to be like mary (the mother of JESUS) and "ponder things in their heart" over this season.

Clean.

2007-12-08T11:52:00.002-05:00

i've noticed somthing today. i gave kathryn an early Christmas present (a ikea bedroom set). and now the bedroom is sleek (slick?). well, it looks nice. however all the mess of the bedroom is a trail that leads out to the living room where the mess finally died. and this is the mess that also joins the current mess outside of our computer desk here (as we are cleaning out that area as well).

makes me wonder how many times in our lives we "clean out" one section of our life and just push that junk (sin, stubborness, pride, envy, etc) into another area... and don't really clean anything up. we give ourselves a false impression that we are better off.

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths. Be not wise in your own eyes; fear the Lord, and turn away from evil. It will be healing to your flesh and refreshment to your bones." Proverbs 3:4-7

Friday (12.07.07)

2007-12-07T03:59:00.000-05:00

Movies.

i'm not sure about this Golden Compass thing. i am wondering really what these books are saying. the author is an agnostic/atheist and wishes to "kill God" in the minds of all readers by the end of the trilogy. i will probably see these movies, nonetheless, but it is good to understand that this is not a safe movie for kids and teens that don't have spiritual guides to help them see what is going on... really.

mmmm..... undecided in MPLS.

Tuesday 12.04.07

2007-12-04T13:14:00.000-05:00

See.

i have been forced to take a real look at my life lately. didn't really like what i saw. priorities. i have looked to find fulfillment in the wrong things. the motivation was good. but i was looking at the different areas of my life to fulfill me in ways they could not.

so now begins another journey in this race. i often experience grace by seeing how weak i am. how many mistakes i make, and then seeing a wonderful woman at home and several dozen students and their families at church. i wonder "what are you doing, putting me here?"

not so much doubt. but awe and wonder. if it was me--i would have given up on me long ago. but i can slowly see how God uses the foolish to shame the wise. even if it is my views of wisdom and foolishness and the battle that goes on in my mind.

"Brothers, think of what you were when you were called. Not many of you were wise by human standards; not many were influential; not many were of noble birth. But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise; God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong. He chose the lowly things of this world and the despised things—and the things that are not—to nullify the things that are, so that no one may boast before him" I Corinthians 1:26-29

Sunday 11.25.07

2007-11-25T11:47:00.000-05:00

1000.

they say it's worth that many words... i just enjoy kids smiling.

Saturday 11.24.07

2007-11-24T20:45:00.000-05:00

time.

as we spent 24 hours on the road this weekend, for a 72 hour visit...

nothing is better than the mathematics of love!

we will miss our beloved parents as they leave for india next month, and probably won't see them for another 18 months. robert now is also teaching in africa. at least the paroubek clan is around. i hope you had a good turkey weekend.

go packers. go cowboys.

Monday 11.19.07

2007-11-19T14:35:00.000-05:00

out.

my nickname is the doctor. and this week the doctor, is out. vacation. rest. sabbath. much needed. i had 48 hours of it last month. this month i get 96 hours. and i need it. really. seriously. i need it.

i hope your thanksgiving is good. i am planning on a great time with mine. revived to get back to work when i return.

"All things have been handed over to me by my Father, and no one knows the Son except the Father, and no one knows the Father except the Son and anyone to whom the Son chooses to reveal him. Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light." Matthew 11:28-30

Sunday 11.18.07

2007-11-18T23:36:00.000-05:00

laugh.

we were reminded today to laugh during this life. laugh at the possibilities when GOD is working for you. ah, yes... grace (GOD being for us, for our best, working on our behalf)... what a beautiful word.

i hope you find time to laugh at life this week.
and chuckle at the audacious claims and promises of your life in CHRIST JESUS.

"His divine power has given us everything we need for life and godliness through our knowledge of him who called us by his own glory and goodness. Through these he has given us his very great and precious promises, so that through them you may participate in the divine nature and escape the corruption in the world caused by evil desires." II Peter 1:3-4

Saturday 11.17.07

2007-11-17T16:38:00.000-05:00

sick.

i am sick of being sick after 2 days.
funny though... here i am at church because 9am doesn't take a break tomorrow. sometimes, "he makes me lie down" is our body's ability to have the wisdom to just shut down when we are not listening to it. i think i will listen next time.

"Restore to me the joy of your salvation and grant me a willing spirit, to sustain me. Then I will teach transgressors your ways, and sinners will turn back to you." Psalm 51:12-13

thursday 11.15.07

2007-11-15T15:41:00.000-05:00

happYness.

not so much that we can do anything as long as we work hard at it. but "the pursuit of happyness" was a pretty inspiring movie to watch this morning. it is better to go 100% and fail then to take it easy and never risk, and... never really know if you really failed. there is a lot that i have not been able to do here in the last 18 months. but i have the hope of focusing in and doing that at 100%. then i will know (the doubt that plagues me at times....)

new priorities.
new motivation.
new results?

"Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for men, since you know that you will receive an inheritance from the Lord as a reward. It is the Lord Christ you are serving" Colossians 3:23-24

Wednesday 11.14.07

2007-11-14T17:58:00.000-05:00

empty.

i related living out a life for JESUS to being spent for GOD's kingdom, this last sunday. it's an interesting questions to ask ourselves each day--am i really being used for GOD's kingdom. i am being spent...or am i spent? not so much am i busy all the time. charles wesley mapped his day planner out according to each 15 minute time slot.
no.
not this kind of spent.

could you look back and say that you became empty for JESUS today. that all GOD gave to you, to give to others (time, money, encouragement, etc) has been used up? i wonder if we can be come a sort-of "manna" for humanity. hum-manna-ty?

can we arrive on the scene as christians. early in the morning, when the dew is evaporating. can we provide the words, the actions and the deeds that JESUS would be doing if he was still on earth? carrying out his ministry?

or will we keep it to ourselves, and not trust that GOD will supply more for us to give to those around us tomorrow? will we receive the manna from GOD to give to a waiting world...

Tuesday 11.13.07

2007-11-13T14:46:00.000-05:00

one.

it is interesting that the "oneness" of GOD has many facets. however we are clearly called to be one, and even JESUS prayed that we would be one in him, and he was one with the father. how can we be united? by truth. GOD's truth, revelation, provide the platform for us to stand together on. we must allow something outside ourselves to be what we are drawn to. far too many times have christians settled for the lowest common denominator to agree on. and this even leads to churches like the "church of canada" whom don't preach an actual resurrection of CHRIST any longer. we must discover what GOD has made and unite on this. we can be one. JESUS prayed for it.

"There is one body and one Spirit—just as you were called to one hope when you were called— one Lord, one faith, one baptism; one God and Father of all, who is over all and through all and in all." Ephesians 4:4-6

There is one Faith, one Family, one Hope in Christ alone
There is one Lord, one Holy Spirit, one Father over all
Keep on holding on my friends we'll be together
Keep on holding on my friends
(we'll be together... in the dreams of God)
"Together" Enter the Worship Circle: Third Circle

Sunday 11.11.07

2007-11-11T12:59:00.001-05:00

quite please.

it is amazing how we can shut our mouths... but not our lives. we are great at zipping the lip for a period of time. but we are pathetic at shutting down--even for 2 hours on a sunday--to listen to GOD. today i wasn't distracted during dave's sermon (which you can find all of our sermons at www.valleycc.org resources, sermons, etc). i like that version of a sermon better than the distracted one.

"Then Moses and the priests, who are Levites, said to all Israel, "Be silent, O Israel, and listen! You have now become the people of the LORD your God." Deuteronomy 27:9

Saturday 11.10.07

2007-11-10T15:13:00.000-05:00

4 hands.

it is true that we can accomplish many things alone.
it is true that two people often accomplish less together than they could alone.
it is true that serving another means putting your agenda on hold.

but somedays it just isn't about productivity and agendas. today it was good to spend 3 hours with a friend and to eat, fish and help put a door in his chicken coop. ab early afternoon well spent.

"For even the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many" Mark 10:45

Friday 11.09.07

2007-11-09T09:47:00.001-05:00

valley.

like a bridge, our faith is only sure when we test it. or rather, when GOD tests us i suppose. our tendency in american christianity is to attempt to divide faith and life so that we are sure without sacrifice, without testing. consider if your relationship with GOD is worth anything to you if it doesn't hold up when you don't get your way, or you find you are in a valley of life. "dark night of the sould" as it has been called. not discipline--testing. not belief -- but faith. will the promises of GOD and the hope of heaven be your anchor in the storms of life? are will you be drifting?

" So we are always of good courage. We know that while we are at home in the body we are away from the Lord, for we walk by faith, not by sight. Yes, we are of good courage, and we would rather be away from the body and at home with the Lord. So whether we are at home or away, we make it our aim to please him." II Corinthians 5:6-9

Thursday 11.08.07

2007-11-08T13:05:00.000-05:00

listening.

usually people will tell you exactly what they need if you only take the time to listen. it is amazing. and as soon as you understand what they are looking for, give twice as much time to that specific thing (even at the cost of missing your lunch) and you will gain more than you can imagine.

"Remind them to be submissive to rulers and authorities, to be obedient, to be ready for every good work, to speak evil of no one, to avoid quarreling, to be gentle, and to show perfect courtesy toward all people." Titus 3:1-2

Wednesday 11.07.07

2007-11-07T22:19:00.000-05:00

wisdom.

i discovered today that "words of encouragement" and the ability to be completely honest and truly transparent with a friend is worth more than a million dollars. i know many men in my life who have never found such trust, peace and grace through friends.

i hope that the reader can also find true friendship where you can say anything that is on your mind and know that grace fills the room in which you speak. meaning: there is nothing you can say to make the person across from you love you more, and nothing you can say to make the person across from you love you less.

"Listen to advice and accept instruction, that you may gain wisdom in the future" Proverbs 19:20